31 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 27

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 2 Timothy 2:22

Observations:

So, today's passage discusses what I was talking about yesterday.

So flee youthful passions - It's interesting how lust and desires of the flesh are considered "youthful passions". It's almost as though Paul is saying that a mature believer is set apart by his indulgences and sins... Oh wait...

Also, note that we're to flee them. Paul isn't saying to entertain them, humour them, or any other such thing. Just leave. If you need to step outside for a breath of fresh air and a prayer, do so. If you need to close our eyes, do so. Whatever you do, just flee these temptations.

and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace - In our fleeing sin, we must remember to also pursue God, lest we find ourselves stumbling into another sin. These things, also, are fruits that come from seeking God, righteousness, being one not mentioned yesterday. Righteousness is "The quality of being morally right or justifiable," or, in this case, being in a justified standing with God. We cannot be righteous if we are engaging in sin. Instead, we must be pursuing righteousness in God, the ultimate standard for righteousness.

along with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart - Who we associate with will help or hinder us in our pursuit of Christ. Think of it this way: if a recovering alcoholic were to hang around with a bunch of drinkers, how successful do you think he would be? Similarly, we need to be selective about who we allow to come alongside us and spur us towards God. I'm not saying don't interact with the world - Christ told us specifically to carry the gospel to all ends of the earth. I'm saying be selective about who you allow to pour into you. If I spend time with a bunch of guys who regularly objectify women, make dirty jokes, and splurge on porn and/or prostitutes, I will find myself, over time, being dragged down to their level. If I spend time with guys who are actively seeking God and encouraging each other in their own personal relationships with God, over time, my relationship with God will improve.

Application:

What is my behaviour? Am I making lewd jokes, ogling women, or entertaining lustful thoughts or fantasies? These things I need to continue fleeing, keeping a conscious watch on my mind and attitude, to train myself to flee from such things

Am I pursuing righteousness, faith, love and peace? These things I need to continue seeking, training myself to move towards God with intentionality not just in my daily time with God, but in times of temptation as I'm fleeing.

Who am I associating with? Are the friends I'm making in class ones who will spur me on towards God? If they are, I need to seek out and deepen their friendship. If not, I need to cut them off.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 27: Love Encourages

"Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others."

I love this statement. In the middle of talking about how love allows the other to be human, not burdening them down with your expectations, moving to the idea of living by encouragement, not expectations.

"Don’t you want married life to be a place where you can enjoy free expression of who you are, growing within a safe environment that encourages you even when you fail?  Your spouse does too – and love gives them that privilege." 

30 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 26

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Philippians 4:8

Observations:

When you're thinking about battling sin, this verse is not often one which comes to mind, but it plays on an idea that's very important.  We cannot focus solely on not sinning, especially when it comes to the mind.

This passage isn't saying "Whatever is false, whatever is dishonourable, whatever is unjust, whatever is defiled, whatever is unlovely, whatever is reprimandible, if there is any failure, if there is anything deplorable, don't think about these things"

No, on the contrary, the passage is telling us to think about things which are true, honourable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Simply not thinking about sin isn't enough. If we focus completely on not sinning, we lose sight of God and, eventually, will sin. If we focus on God and the things of God, we will find ourselves both moving closer to God and not sinning.

Now, again, it's easier to try and white knuckle sin, to try and discipline ourselves with such great discipline that sin is bound by the same fetters that bound the mythical Fenris wolf. I can vouch first-hand that such strategies can work. I can also vouch that they rob you of your joy and still have the capacity to fail.

In times of temptation, it's not enough to avoid the thought pattern that is presented to us - we will still find backdoor ways to "not think" about the temptation and so, still give in to sin. We need to replace the thoughts. One thing I'd read was a recommendation to pray for those whom you are tempted to think sinfully about. Sometimes, that works, but if you're going in your own strength it's the same as a back door. What Paul is recommending to the Philippians, though this passage is not specifically about sin, is to fill their mind with things of God on the course of seeking righteousness through Christ.

Application:

Let's practice some thought replacement:

• What are the lies being told to me? What are God's truths?
• How am I tempted to think dishonourably? What is the honourable thought?
• Where is the injustice in my thought? What would instead be just?
• What of my thoughts are defiled? What is God's pure intention?
• What of my thoughts are ugly or unlovely? What thoughts would show love?
• What of my thoughts would others reprimand me for? What is the commendable inverse?
• Am I dwelling in my failure? Where has God given me success?
• What am I punishing myself for? Where am I worthy of praise?

I tend to share Augustine's stance that evil is not an entity of itself, but rather the absence, corruption, or lessening of good. Evil is the direct contradiction of what God has established, the twisting and fouling of what God has made, or the exchange of God's perfection, commands, and desires for lesser things.

Simply removing the absences and perversions of good, along with lesser goods leaves behind a void which will be filled most easily by our conditioning, which would then restock the individual with the same or worse evils. Overwriting ourselves to think about Godly things, goodly things, drowns out evil and, when the two strategies are employed together, can serve to uproot and replace the evils we've bought in to.

Now, here's the catch, being by nature imperfect, I cannot provide true Godly substitution. All the goods that I am able to conceive either come from God or are inherently flawed. Chocolate is true, honourable, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy, but if I replace evil with chocolate, then I am still sinning, because I am still resorting to a lesser good than God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 26: Love is Responsible

"We tend to believe that our views are correct, or at least much more correct than our mate’s.  And we don’t believe that anybody, give our same set of circumstances, would act much differently than we have.  As far as we’re concerned, we’re doing the best we can.  And our spouse just ought to be glad we’re as good to them as we are. But love doesn’t pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives.  Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with other’s needs.  When love takes responsibility for its actions, it’s not to prove how noble you’ve been but rather to admit how much further you have to go. Love doesn’t make excuses.  Love keeps working to make a difference – in you and in your marriage."

It's a wall of text, but it's one I associate with very much. I always have my defense ready, full of ways and reasons to explain and pardon myself from my actions, oftentimes with very little remorse. Love should be less concerned with the appearance of the self and more concerned about the state of the other.

"That’s why the next time you’re in an argument with your spouse, instead of working up your comebacks, stop and see if there’s something worth listening to in what your mate is saying.  What might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you first admitted your own wrongs? ... Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front.  Are you taking responsibility for this person you chose for yourself as the love of your life? ... Are you taking responsibility for your own faults?"

Also true. However, let's note quickly that admitting your own wrongs doesn't get you off the hook. Admitting you were wrong doesn't make the situation better. It just makes you more bearable to the person you hurt.

29 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 25

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Galatians 5:17

Observations:

This is a very true statement, so much so that it seems obvious, but that, of course, is because I've grown up in Christianity.

One of the key concepts in Christianity is the process of sanctification. When someone becomes a Christian, they are considered "saved". "Saved" however, is a complex concept, describing the rescuing of the individual from sin. The manner by which that is effected, however, is broken into three parts:

• Justification - The immediate removal our bondage to sin and punishment due thereunto
• Sanctification - The progressive work of the Holy Spirit moulding us in Christ's likeness
• Glorification - The final removal of sin in its entirety in eternity

So, if someone were to ask a theologian whether he or she was saved, that person might answer, saying "Yes, partially, and no," and be perfectly correct.

What this passage is talking about is the dichotomy of flesh vs Spirit, or our old, sinful nature vs our new, Christlike nature. It is talking about the process of sanctification in which we wage war against our sinful desires which keep us from drawing closer to God. It is a reminder that the urges of the flesh are opposed to the spirit.

Now, I must make a distinction between fleshly and bodily urges. Bodily urges, such as the need for food and drink, sexual desire, tiredness/sleepiness, the need to use the bathroom, these are all normal, good things. Fleshly desires are those which run contrary to God, such as gluttony, lust, acting on sexual desires outside of marriage, laziness, etc.

So, we must be aware of these fleshly desires if we are to continue growing in Christlikeness, that we can identify and deny them, that they would not stunt our growth and development.

Application:

I need to check my motivations for what I do. Am I going on Facebook to use it to communicate or will I simply be scrolling aimlessly, setting myself up for temptation? What books am I reading? What movies am I watching? Am I doing things that, although they may fall into grey areas, would weaken me to resist temptation? Am I doing things that bypass the grey area and function as a gateway?

I need to act and interact with wisdom and discernment.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 25: Love Forgives

"[F]orgiveness doesn’t absolve anyone of blame.  It doesn’t clear their record with God.  It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them.  When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose.  You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way."

Forgiveness is one thing I have been taught to do from a young age, so it's sometimes something I take for granted. It's a very powerful act, forgiveness, for the above reason. It's basically saying to the person you're forgiving that you're no longer burdening yourself over the hurt they've done to you and have set yourself free to restoration and growth. It's arguably the most hopeful thing that can be given to a repentant offender (I speak as one).

28 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 24

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Corinthians 6:13

Observations:

This passage is in the beginning of a segment in 1 Corinthians in which Paul is making an argument against sexual immorality. Starting in verse 12, we see him addressing common arguments used by the Corinthians to justify their behaviours:

• "All things are lawful for me" - Not all things are helpful and I will not be dominated by anything.
• "Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food" - God will destroy them both in their time

The Corinthians were using arguments common to today, used even by Christians. They were using God's grace and forgiveness (See Romans), political legality, and the apparent, "necessary" nature of sexual desire (described as akin to physical hunger) to justify acting out in sexual sin. Listen to Paul's response, though:

"The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

Paul is pointing the Church back to God here. We are intended to honour and revere God. So, while all things may be lawful or permissible, are we fulfilling our purpose of honouring God? Has God given us a means of gratifying our sexual needs that also honours him? The answer to the second is yes, through marriage. The answer to the first, though, depends on the individual and requires some introspection. For me, my answer would be "No". I could squirrel away details and say that I am doing better about honouring God than I was, but regardless, I'm still not perfect. At the end of the day, in a black-and-white, yes/no scenario, my answer will always be "No".

I am not perfect. God, in his holiness, demands a "Yes" for us to be fit to even enter his presence, but because of my sin, my imperfection, I will always be short of  "Yes". This is where the grace of  God comes in. Because God loves us, God reached out in his mercy to provide a means, through perfect fulfillment of the law he had established, for a "Yes" to be credited to us. That's the beauty of the cross. Jesus Christ, in his perfection, in his manhood, and in his Godhood, voluntarily took the burden of our imperfections and endured the punishment required, that he may stand on our behalf as our advocate and credit us with his "Yes".

This understanding leads Paul to really hammer home his point on sexual immorality later in this passage as he exhorts us to glorify God in our bodies. How, then, can we continue in our sin, in the light of such great mercy?

Application:

To trust in the power of God to overcome my sin and to cease, from my side, engaging in sin. I must be firm and resolute against my sin, but I cannot begin to believe I can do it all on my own. True obedience will only ever come from a genuine desire and love for God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 24: Love vs. Lust

"So we set our eyes and hearts on seeking worldly pleasure.  We try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. ...We try to be discreet but barely turn our eyes away.  And once our eyes are capture by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. ... Our hearts are deceived into saying, 'I could be happy if I only had this.'"

The authors started off acknowledging that God has provided for all of our needs and many of our desires, that we should want for nothing. I like the definition the authors give for lust, that is is setting our hearts and passions on something forbidden, like a coworker, an actress, or even a new sports car. It tempts us to seek the satisfaction we should find in God in these other things. When ever did a new car completely satisfy you? When did an affair ever meet the totality of your needs? They don't. They can't, and yet we buy into the lie that they can like a fish does a lure.

Lust is an ever-growing emptiness, calling for more and greater things to fill its hunger as it draws us further and further from the one thing that can truly satisfy us.

"Are you tired of being lied to by lust?  Are you fed up with believing that forbidden pleasures are able to keep you happy and content?  Then begin setting your eyes on the Word of God.  Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. ... And while you’re at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again."

23 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 23

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Romans 6:12

Observations:

I like this passage; it's really nice and straightforward: "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions."

Don't let sin reign in your body. Don't let sin make you obey its passions. Those are the two statements in this passage. Note, though, how they're intertwined. Sin cannot make you obey its passions unless it is reigning in your body. This is a very important facet of much of the book of Romans, that we are no longer bound to our sin, but to Christ. If Christ reigns in us, then sin does not. If Christ reigns in us, the we are not made to obey it. If Christ reigns in us, we have his power to resist temptation.

Application:

Forsake sin and turn to God. If there's any area in your life which you haven't taken to God, but you've kept to yourself, thinking you can manage it, or because you enjoy the way it makes you feel, that can still remain an area in which sin has rulership and you will sin in it again. Give it all over to God and be free from the obligation to sin.

This is something I'm learning. I was actually praying over this concept yesterday, talking with God and thanking him for the place he has brought me to.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 23: Love Always Protects

"Unfortunately your marriage has enemies out there. They come in different forms and use different strategies, but nonetheless they will conspire to destroy your relationship unless you know how to ward them off.
Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparisons."

Yep. This is what happened to me. The first probably started happening a longer time ago, but the second is what did me in.

Some of the things listed as enemies of marriage are harmful influences (internet, TV, work schedules), unhealthy relationships (bad confidants/advisors, risk with opposite sex friendships), shame (how do you speak re: your spouse in public?), and parasites (addictions, anything consuming your thoughts, time, and money). These are things which should be actively guarded against, like a good shepherd watching over his flock, not sacrificed for our own comfort and entertainment.

"Men ...  You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. ... It requires a heart of courage and a head for preemptive action."

So, that's where I stand. As I mentioned above, I was praying over the idea of not being beholden to sin and, thanks to the work God has done in me, I am more able to put energy into repairing my marriage. This idea of defending it from enemies preemptively is a big factor, I think, that will help on the repair process.

22 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 22

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Romans 8:13

 Observations:

This passage follows a segment in which Paul is talking about living in the flesh versus living in the spirit, ho those living in the flesh are doomed to death and cannot please God, but those living in the spirit find a greater life that comes from God

"For if you live according to the flesh, you will die"

Pretty self-explanatory

"... but if, by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

This is the key to overcoming sin of any kind. There are two key ideas within this verse fragment. 

The first is the phrase "by the Spirit". This tells us that God is both the source of strength for and the mechanism of overcoming our sins, even the deepest, most entrenched ones.

Second is the phrase, "put to death the deeds of the body." This passage isn't talking about retiring our sins, or putting them up in the attic. This passage is talking about drastic action. Putting something to death is severe, terminal. It is unreversable except by God and we know that God does not tolerate sin.

Application:

Firstly, this is a reminder to rely on God, not myself. 

Secondly, this is a reminder to take this journey and struggle seriously. I have the worst habit of starting something in earnest and, by my own sloth, allowing it to become merely this veneer that's added to cover over the flaws. I cannot permit even the most innocent gateway thoughts. My sin needs to not only be managed, but to die and I need to die to myself, to my own desires on a daily basis. That is what is meant by being a living sacrifice.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 22: Love is Faithful

This is an important one. I wish it spoke from the perspective of the one who broke faith and trust instead of the one whose faith and trust was broken, but the core theme is still the same. We need to be seeking after Christ, emulating his love. We need to be giving undeserved love - love despite what a person has said or done to us.

Me? I'm the one who does't deserve the love, so it's hard to see how to apply this in my circumstance. I'm trying to repair and secure my marriage, but faithfulness has a different connotation in my context. My wife needs to know that she is the only one in my eyes and mind. She also needs to know that she is in my heart and that no-one else is there with her.

21 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 21

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Peter 2:11

Observations:

What stands immediately out to me is how Peter refers to us Christians as "sojourners and exiles". Sojourn means to stay somewhere temporarily.  An exile is someone cast out from his own people. These words, in context with the verses immediately above, that we are a chosen people, a people called by God for his possession. gives me the image that this place, this earth is not our home. We are merely moving through, staying temporarily until we can return to our true home.

What is Peter's point in making this statement, though?

Well, firstly, as we can see in this immediate verse, being strangers in this world, we are encouraged to hold onto the things of our true home, that is, heaven, and to remove ourselves of the things of our temporary dwelling, that is, the world. Think of it as someone going to college in a different city and state. They are not making their home in this new place. They are merely sojourning there, staying there for a time. That's why you don't see many students investing greatly in their college home compared to those who've either grown up there or staked their lives there. No their minds and hearts are on their hometown.

That being said, just as each student represents his or her home town and state, we represent our hometown, Heaven, as is alluded to in verse 12: "Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." 

I had a good friend comment on the difference, though, between the earth and the world. The earth is the physical place we're living in. Earth will be remade. Peter's not saying not to engage in the things of this earth, food, cultural affectations, etc. He's saying not to engage in the things of this world, i.e. sin.

Application:

I need to be engaging with this world and its delights more as someone passing through. Not to be indifferent regarding the affairs of the world and its plights, but to be indifferent to its temptations, keeping myself fixed instead on Christ, remembering Heaven is my home and allegiance. I need to be conscious of Christ in my engagements, taking pains to represent him and to engage in things that bring honour to and are of him.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 21: Love is Satisfied in God

20 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 20

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Matthew 5:27-30

Observations:

This passage serves to highlight both what sexual infidelity truly is and how severe our response should be.

I like how, in the ESV, verse 28 is translated "... anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent..." (emphasis added). Here, Jesus is looking at the core, heart issue. Previously, the Jews defined adultery simply as physical marital infidelity.  Jesus is identifying adultery as a heart issue in which one desires to sexually possess or have an intimate encounter with an individual not your spouse (or anyone at all if you're not married). This can be physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, or spiritual intimacy. This can encompass intercourse, touch, exchanging of words, lingering glances, etc. Any intimate investiture, usually romantic or pseudo-romantic, in an individual who is not your spouse, in place of your spouse, is adultery. 

So, a man confiding information regarding his personal struggles to a female coworker instead of his wife? That could constitute the beginnings of emotional adultery, especially if the wife is unaware or has not given consent. Similarly, a private prayer meeting between a man and a woman could be cause for scrutiny. These type of cases don't necessarily start of with adultery in mind, but they very often can lead that way.

In verses 29 & 30, we see the severity with which Jesus urges us to take action against adultery, lustful thoughts, glances, and other adulterous interactions. No, do not literally cut out your eye or cut off your hand. If we did that, every man above the age of 12 would be a blind double-amputee, as would many women, if not all, by a certain point in life. 

However, we should see the necessity here. We need to cut out everything that enables us to sin. What actions do we take or thoughts do we have that lead us into sin? How can we mount an offense against them? How can we control our thoughts, our eyes, our actions? That's what this whole "Struggling with Sin" series has been about. Yes, it's my personal struggle, but the base concepts are the same. We need to:

1. Confess our sins
2. Cease conforming to the world
3. Seek intimacy with Christ
4. Sacrifice ourselves to God
5. Worship God
6. Thank and praise God
7. Ask God for his strength to overcome

Dealing with sin is a long, hard road. It's not a straight line of smooth sailing. Some days I'm climbing up. Others, I'm taking a couple steps back. Some days, I look at what I've been through and rejoice, praising God. Others, I look at the mountain ahead of me and despair. The biggest thing to remember, though, is to keep our eyes on Christ and to constantly be moving towards him. Only then can we be certain of recovery and overcoming sin.

Application:

I need to re-check my plans and strategies. I need to evaluate where I've become lax and tighten back up. I also need to examine the areas in which I've told God, "Thanks for the help. I've got it from here." Lastly, I need to dig deeper in understanding and undermining the root issues underlying my sin

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ

I love it! today's passage talks about committing to Christ, accepting Jesus' salvation as the salve for our brokenness and relying on him to provide the ability to give the love we cannot of ourselves show.

19 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 19

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Psalm 51

Observations:

The instruction today is actually to take this passage and make it my own prayer. I'm kinda going to do that, but I'm going to break it down into elements first.

1. Deal with me through your love and grace, O God, and deal mercifully with me
2. Wash me from my sin
3. I am aware of my sin and how I have sinned against you
4. My very nature is sin, though you delight in  truth and give wisdom
5. Cleanse me. Make me new, that I may rejoice and do not remove yourself from me
6. Deliver me and I will point others to you
7. I know what you desire in worship and will bring you such praise

Application:

To pray that

Prayer:

(In private)

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 19: Love is Impossible

"...[Y]ou cannot manufacture unconditional love (or agape love) out of your own heart."

I'm becoming aware of this. It's true. Everything I try to do in and of myself feels like wallpapering over the cracks. It's only through God that true love can come into my life and be extended to my wife.

"You can’t give what you don’t have.  You can’t call up inner reserves and resources that aren’t there to be summoned. ... So the hard news is this:  love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you’re only looking within yourself to find it.  You need someone who can give you that kind of love. ... [O]nly those who have received the Spirit of Christ through belief in His death and resurrection...are able to tap into love’s real power."

This kinda ties into the scripture passage above. The psalm actually has the title given to it, "Create in Me a Clean Heart". It's through Christ's renewing power that we are able to love genuinely and truly. Without him, we can only hope to do good things or be generally nice to each other. With him, we have hope for transformative love.

18 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 18

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Corinthians 10:13

Observations:

This is something I'm learning through this whole process.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man - At the base level, all sins come from the same set of base desires and not only this, but there is never a truly unique sin. Regardless of your sin, there is someone who's been there before and could give insight into how they overcame it.

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability - God doesn't want us to fall into sin, but he does want us to learn and grow. Sometimes the temptation may seem overwhelming, but it will always be manageable, defeatable. We just need to cling to God for strength.

... but with the temptation he will provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. - Like I was saying above, God provides the strength and victory. He is the one who provides our way out, that we can learn to trust him, to endure sin, and to grow more resistant to temptation.

This passage is one of hope and reliance upon God for a number of reasons.

• In the middle of sin, we often feel alone
• In the middle of sin, we often feel outmatched
• In the middle of sin, we often feel there's no way out

These are three lies used by our flesh and Satan to keep us enslaved to sin instead of moving towards God.

Application:

Well, I need to memorise this verse - it will go a long way to helping me keep hope and a right perspective as I go through life combatting my sin.

I need to keep the reminder that I am not alone, that I am not outmatched, and that there is a way out. I just need to keep clinging to God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 18: Love Seeks to Understand

17 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 17

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scriptures:

• James 1:14

Observations:

"But each person is tempted when he is lured away and enticed by his own desires."

This comes from the middle of a short passage talking about where temptation comes from and what it leads to. Temptation, James writes, does not come from God, but, as we see above, from within one's own desires. He then goes on to say that temptation, when allowed to conceive gives birth to sin and sin to death.

I like that imagery of temptation conceiving, by the way. I took a look into the definition of conceive and what I found on dictionary.com really illustrates beyond the imagery of pregnancy and birth:

• To form a notion or idea of, to imagine
• To experience or form (a feeling)
• To hold as an opinion, think, believe
• Derived from the Latin, concipere - to take fully, to take in

So, how then does sin progress?

Our flesh acts out of a base desire and brings forth a tantalising morsel, something tempting. We allow the morsel to take root. We think on it. We dwell on it. We take it in. When the temptation has fully taken root, it leads us to sin.

Note, temptation never presents itself as something ugly or detrimental. No one would fall for it, then. No, temptation presents itself as innocuous or pleasant and allows itself to grow. That being said, it is possible to become completely desensitized and enslaved to sin, at which point, there is no need for the slow, creeping front of subtle enticement - the temptation can present itself full frontal, as bold as brass, knowing it will be readily accepted.

Application:

I need to be wise, canny to the methods of temptation used by my sinful nature and the devil. As I've been combating sin more militantly, I've noticed temptation coming by more guerrilla routes. Instead of "Think lustful thoughts about this person," I'm faced with something more like, "Hey, remember this person?" I know the voice, the source of the thoughts and I know where I will be railroaded. The trick is to be aware and to lean on God for his discernment. If I spend time seeking God, learning his voice, then I will be able to discern what is not him. I'm still raw and green in my war. I need to maintain godly vigilance, but I also need to keep away from the sin trap that I can do it all on my own, or that I can gloss over details in confession to paint a better picture of myself. These, too, are sins. They're just different sins, but they'll compromise us in our war against more obvious, immediately damaging sins.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 17: Love Promotes Intimacy

""The prospect of sharing our home with another person who knows us down to the most intimate detail is part of the deep pleasure of marriage. Yet this great blessing is also the site of its greatest danger. Someone who knows us this intimately can either love us at a depth we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from."

 Thus far, true.

"If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else.  Perhaps you might look to another person initiating a relationship that either flirts with adultery or actually enters in.  You may look for comfort in work or outside hobbies, something that partially shields you from intimacy but also keeps you around people who respect and accept you." 

Umm, definitely.

"Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval.  They should not walk on eggshells in the very place where they ought to feel the most comfortable in their bare feet. " 

Can y'all stop reading my mind and confronting me with the attitudes and perceptions that led me to my sin?

"Admittedly, this is tender territory.  Marriage has unloaded another person’s baggage into your life, and yours into theirs. ... Some of these secrets may need correcting.  Therefore, you can be an agent of healing and repair – not by lecturing, not by criticizing, but by listening in love and offering support. Some of these secrets just need to be accepted.  They are part of this person’s make-up and history.  And though these issues may not be very pleasant to deal with, they will always require a gentle touch."

 Oy vey. Here's the kicker. I didn't do the stuff listed here very well, if at all. Instead, I did three of the four things listed in the second quote and set myself on the path towards the remaining one. Instead of dealing with our differences and personal issues in a healthy way, I turned off and started looking for things outside my marriage in an attempt to satisfy my needs and personal problems.

"In either case, you and you alone wield the power either to reject your spouse because of this or to welcome them in – warts and all.  They will either know they’re in a place of safety where they are free to make mistakes, or they will recoil into themselves and be lost to you, perhaps forever.  Loving them well should be your life’s work."

This is what I'm learning. It's what I'm trying to do, not as an outward whitewashing of my own struggles and an external temporary fix, but actually as a heart change that will last.

"This may be an area where you’ve really failed in the past. If so, don’t expect your mate to immediately give you wide-open access to their heart.  You must begin to rebuild trust. ... The reality of intimacy always takes time to develop, especially after being compromised.  But your commitment to re-establishing it can happen today – for anyone willing to take the dare."

16 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 16

Prayer
      7. Asking for Help

Scripture:

• Hebrews 4:16

Observations:

Okay, so, we're seeing that we can come before God, to receive grace and mercy in times of need.

That's all well and generous of God, but why? Doesn't God hate our sin? Why would I, a sinner, ever be able to come before God?

Well, let's look one verse earlier

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin." Heb 4:15

Guys, Jesus has been there. You're struggling with lust? Jesus has been there. Doubt? Jesus has been there. Stealing? Jesus has been there. Yes, Jesus understands temptation. He was both fully man and fully God, remember? The verse immediately prior to this, calls Jesus our "great high priest". There is nothing we go through that Christ has not gone through and overcome. The whole point of a high priest, as the author describes in ch. 5, is to act on behalf of men to God, offering gifts and sacrifices, because he, the high priest, is able to deal with the sinful, because he himself faces these same weaknesses.

Therefore, as the author of Hebrews later proclaims, let us keep our eyes on Jesus, who is the progenitor and perfector of our faith, who endured the cross, shouldered our sins, and is now seated in heaven with God.

Now, there's one word that I left out in my little summary at the beginning. That word is confidence.

Guys, we have confidence to come before God. It's not like in ancient times, where coming before the king unbidden could warrant death. No, we have the invitation because of Christ. We can come before God confidently to receive mercy and grace.

And what's the goal of receiving mercy and grace? That we may find help in time of need.

Overcoming sin is a time of need. It's a perfectly good reason to come before God. I mean, we have the ability to come before God, we have need of what God gives, and, with what God gives, we have the ability to draw even closer to him. Why would we not come to God?

Application:

Having had a breakthrough yesterday, I am reminded to not leap into a sense of plastic optimism. I still have my sins. I still have issues to work through. I still have core, heart issues that need to change for any external change to stick.

I cannot be ignorant of my problems now, just as I was not ignorant of them yesterday. Instead, I need to continue in sober-minded hope. I still need to come before God in humility. I still need to seek his strength, grace, and mercy.

This passage, or more, God's revelation to my initial ambivalence when reading this passage, has reminded me to stay the course.

It's kinda like taking DOTS therapy for TB. It's a six-month course of antibiotics, but you feel better after week 1. The problem is, if you stop when you feel better, the infection is still present, merely dormant, and will reappear later, stronger and more resistant to what treatment you were using.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 16: Love Intercedes

"Beyond this, begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs.  Pray for his heart.  Pray for her attitude. Pray for your spouse’s responsibilities before God.  Pray for truth to replace lies.  Pray for forgiveness would replace bitterness.  Pray for your heart’s desires – for love and honor to become the norm.  Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level."

I wholeheartedly agree with this. I think, in some ways, the Love Dare has been hard to take seriously, because a lot of it is common sense to me, that I tend to think I'm doing, even though the evidence shows otherwise. This is one of those things, but I totally realise I need to not be flippant about. Praying for my wife is super important, especially as she's the one hurt. I need to pray for her that she may overcome her hurt and pain, just as I pray that I may be able to love her better.

15 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 15

Prayer
      7. Asking for Help

Scripture:

• Philippians 4:6-7

Observations:

The last time we looked at this passage, I was in a state of anxiety and stress, relieved by the word of God telling me to not be anxious and that God is the source of peace.

Today, I'm in a different spot. Somewhat better, maybe, but different regardless. Also, today's thrust is different.

Through much calmer lenses, I see, "... but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." 

In everything, we are to submit our requests. There is no situation too big for God. There is no sin too despicable. There is no circumstance too awkward. We can and are to come to him in everything - in times of joy, in times of hardship, in times of sin, in times of blessing. We come and seek him for his strength, his provision, and his peace. We come asking for forgiveness or aid. Sometimes, we come simply to praise.

In everything, pray.

Application:

This is something I'm learning to do, especially where habitual sin is involved. There is a small amount of resistance I am able to give out of my own strength, but why rely solely on my strength to merely resist, when I can call on God for the strength to not merely resist, but repulse temptation?

In everything, pray.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 15: Love is Honourable

At the beginning of the article, everything being described as what honour is made great sense and I had no trouble nodding in agreement. Then they changed tack to a different word, "Holy".

This caught my attention, because I had been called out by and confessed to my wife regarding a friendship with a woman which I had set apart within myself as "inviolate" - that is, I would not allow my sin to touch it and thereby sully it like everything else I touch in this time of recovering from sin. I had good intentions, but I'd allowed my pride in being able to have a "normal", "healthy" friendship tie myself to that relationship in some very unhealthy ways, to the point of getting defensive for that particular person, which is what clued me in that something was not right.

The only relationship that I should be holding as inviolate is the one with my wife. The only person who should be honoured, praised, or defended in such a manner is my wife. 

"Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine."

14 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 14

Prayer
      6.  Thanking God

Scripture:

• Colossians 4:2

Observations:

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."

This seems like such a simple passage.

Continue steadfastly in prayer... - Obviously, keep praying, but what does "Steadfast" mean? - To be resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering. So, we need to be resolute, committed, disciplined, unceasing, indefatigable in prayer. That's the first part.

... being watchful in it with thanksgiving - I'm trying to put this one together. Other translations replace "watchful" with "alert" or "on guard". Some simplify it to not falling asleep while in prayer. I think it could mean something along the lines of being present or aware, not mentally checking out and focusing on other things. The key, then, to this, as Paul writes, is thankfulness.That makes sense to me. If I approach God with a spirit of thankfulness for the time he's given me, for the access of prayer, why would I take it lightly. Why would I take anything of God lightly, then?

Application:

Well, there are two sides of this coin. The first is to be more disciplined in my praying. To pray regularly and reliably. The second is to be more present in my prayer, not allowing myself to be distracted or treating prayer like a time sink, but to relish it for the opportunity it is.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 14: Love Takes Delight

This segment is talking about leading your heart to love instead of letting your heart lead you with any present emotion.

"Instead, it’s time to lead your heart to once again delight in your mate.  Enjoy your spouse.  Take her hand and seek her companionship. Desire his conversation.  Remember why you fell in love with her personality.  Accept this person – quirks and all – and welcome him or her back into your heart."

I remember trying to do this early on into my recovery and I remember my wife telling me she loved it and missed it when, the following week, it disappeared because I was too stressed and busy to give it much thought. That's something I need to improve upon. I all too easily bottle my emotions up and never show what I'm feeling, which also means I never let my feelings out in a good, controlled manner. For my wife, then, it makes it difficult for her to feel treasured and it makes it difficult for me to delight in her, because I'm not allowing myself to feel.

12 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 13

Prayer
      6. Thanking God

Scriptures:

• Philippians 4:6-7

Observations:

I could just stop at this first clause, "do not be anxious about anything," and leave blessed for the day. Struggling with an ingrained habit of sin is painful. You're uprooting everything of how you interact. Sometimes, you have extreme withdrawal and cravings for your sin. Sometimes, you can't even trust your own mind to not wander off into its sin, but must exercise extreme continence, or, control, just to strive towards a purity based off of holiness. That's where I am. I'm on edge, hyper-aware of my sin and the temptations around me (thankfully, it's a weekend, so I can hole up and cut down on the influx of external temptation).

But, let's continue.

"... but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

So, instead of being anxious, torn up, in internal turmoil, let us, in a heart of gratitude offer a prayer of supplication to God, letting him know our needs and requests. Just one thing: supplication is a very nice, Christianese word that we all kinda only partially understand. so, here's how Dictionary.com defines "Supplicate"

"verb (used without object), supplicated, supplicating.

1.

to pray humbly; make humble and earnest entreaty or petition.

verb (used with object), supplicated, supplicating.

2.

to pray humbly to; entreat or petition humbly.

3.

to seek or ask for by humble entreaty."

Aside from the lack of the words "transitive" and "intransitive" when describing the properties and usage of the verb, what do we see?

• Supplication involves humility
• Supplication should be in earnest ("resulting from or showing sincere and intense conviction")
• Supplication involves prayer, petition ("A formal request appealing to authority with respect to a specific cause"), and entreaty ("An earnest or humble request")

So, in every situation, instead of being anxious, let us turn and pray with an attitude of humility, sincerity, and intense conviction, pleading with God that he would meet our request to provide our needs and equip us to combat our sin, simultaneously showing gratitude for what he has done and is doing.

Or, in a nutshell, we need to recognise God with a greater sense of awe and majesty, and not our confidant/best buddy, whom we can flippantly talk to, then go on our merry way. We are making a petition of the almighty, holy God to meet our needs.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

In our times of trial and anxiety, when we're neck deep in temptation and struggle, why do we take the time to come to God and bother such a busy and worthy personage? Well, for starters, because Jesus said we could and made it possible, but mainly because Jesus also said "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28), following that statement with "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly [i.e. humble] in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matt 11:29)

What Paul is writing in Philippians, that God will grant us peace and will guard our hearts and minds, echoes what Christ himself said a mere handful of years earlier.

Application:

I just need to rest in Christ. I need to come, relax, and let him take the reins and stresses present in my life. I need to give myself over to his strength and restoration. I need his peace.

Prayer:

(In private)

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 13: Love Fights Fair

"Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable.  When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage. ... Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off of theirs.  The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits."

Marriage has this God-blessed way of holding a mirror to your face and showing you your flaws through your spouse. In four months of marriage, I have felt God use my wife to sanctify me more than at any other time in my life. It hurts, but it's healing.

The text today speaks of establishing rules of engagement for how we go through conflict with our spouses, setting up "We" rules and "Me" rules - "We" being rules made together governing the terms of engagement overall, such as, "We will not argue in public.", and "Me" being rules made within oneself governing one's own actions and behaviour in conflict, such as, "I will not raise my voice in anger."

This'll be a good thing to sit down and talk with my wife over.

11 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 12

Prayer
      5. Worshipping God

Scriptures:

• Philippians 3:3

Observations:

In leading up to this passage, Paul is warning us to stay on guard for our opponents, those who do evil and wish our downfall. Why?

• We are the circumcision
• We worship by the spirit of God
• We glory in Christ
• We put no confidence in our flesh

What is the significance of each of these? 

We are the circumcision. We are the new covenant made through Christ's blood. We are no longer slaves to our sin, helpless to resist evil.

We worship by the spirit of God. We are not unequipped. We have the spirit of God in us that enables us to worship God. Also, in connection, we have the strength imparted by his Spirit to, in worship, resist evil.

We glory in Christ. Our joy is not found in the sins and evils of this world, but we recognise that our joy, true joy, is found in Christ and, hopefully, we seek Christ's joy over fleshly desires, the latter being shown empty, false joy.

We put no confidence in our flesh. This is a bit stickier. Taken at face value, I would take it to mean we have no confidence in our ability to overcome sin. In context though, as Paul shows his pedigree, I realise it is more about our inability to obtain salvation for ourselves. The two concepts are similar and connected. Regardless, though, the key point is that we rely on God, not ourselves. We even note that, later on in Philippians 3, Paul counts all this as nothing, a detriment, even, because the worth of knowing Christ so far surpasses anything he could ever do.

Application:

Man, If there's one thing I'm learning regarding overcoming sin, especially habitual, ingrained sin, it's the importance of Christ as the agent of change, as the person we should be relying on. 

Three weeks into going toe-to-toe with my deepest, most ingrained sins, I cannot stress this enough. I can't do this alone. I need Christ. I'm reminded of St. Patrick's prayer:

"Christ be with me, Christ within meChrist behind me, Christ before meChrist beside me, Christ to win meChrist to comfort me and restore me.Christ beneath me, Christ above meChrist in quiet, Christ in dangerChrist in hearts of all that love meChrist in mouth of friend or stranger."

Fighting sin is tough. The harder you fight, the harder it fights back. The more you seek to cling to Christ, the more it tries to isolate and separate you.

It's painful, too. Very often, you're facing a lot of shame or guilt, but the worst pain is seeing your loved ones being hurt as you war with sin and seek to build trust through transparency. No person should ever have to endure their spouse's problems, but it's true. One of the biggest lies of sin is that it affects only you.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 12: Love Lets the Other Win

They're talking here about sacrificing our stubbornness with willingness. 

"It’s an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversations.  It’s like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend."

Ouch. I like to think I'm flexible, but, in truth, I'm rather recalcitrant, being flexible, truly, only when all the options are ones I'm in favour of, preferably ones I've suggested.

"As God, He had every right to refuse becoming a man but yielded and did – because He was willing.  He had the right to be served by all mankind but came to serve us instead.  He had the right to live in peace and safety but willingly laid down His life for our sins.  He was even willing to endure the grueling torture of the cross.  He loved, cooperated, and was willing to do His Father’s will instead of His own."

Putting myself to death continually is the winning option. With that, I also need to sacrifice my pride, which causes me to be defensive, and be moulded instead to Christ's image.

"The wise and loving thing to do is to start approaching your disagreements with a willingness to not always insist on your own way."

Prayer:

Done in private 

10 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 11

Prayer
      5. Worship God

Scriptures:

• John 4:23-24

Observations:

What does it mean to worship in spirit and truth? 

Well, in my last note, I talked about spiritual worship as aligning myself with God and sacrificing myself to his will and purpose.

Worshipping in truth, I am convinced and convicted, is about coming to God in honesty. What that means to me, and what I was convicted of, is that if we are coming to God and we have matters of sin, conflict, hurt that are lingering over us, then we need to confess those and take care of those matters first, before continuing in worship. Christ himself said something similar in Matt 5:

"23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." Matt 5:23-24

Application:

Well, I kinda already did this. I had something weighing on my heart from a discussion with my wife earlier, knowing it was something that needed being said, so I finally mustered up the courage to at least send her a message, which ended up being a long message on where I am and what's troubling me with regards to where I am in my process of recovery from sin.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 11: Love Cherishes

The authors open up with a comparison of two men: one with a severely broken, old car and the other with a severely broken hand, asking which man's attitude towards fixing vs scrapping should we embody in our relationships with our spouses.

"When you mistreat your mate, you are mistreating yourself.  Think about it.  Your lives are now interwoven together.  Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you."

"It’s time to let love change your thinking.  It’s time for you to realize that your spouse is as much a part of you as your hand, your eye, or your heart.  She, too, needs to be loved and cherished. "

These two statements stand out to me, in part because I still have the bad habit of viewing the two of us (my wife and I) as separate individuals, though I am learning daily how what affects one affects the other, particularly what affects me affects her.

"Just as you treasure your eyes, hands, and feet, you should treasure your spouse as a priceless gift."

 There's the rub. I treat my wife as a roommate, a longtime friend, even a girlfriend, but I don't truly treat her as Wife. (Yes, that's a capital "W"). This is probably one of the largest areas I need to grow in.

The challenge, then, is to do something that shows my wife I cherish her, which is funny, because that's one of the things we were talking about the other day that I've been failing to make her feel - cherished.

Now to do something genuine that doesn't fall flat because I didn't consider all the angles.

8 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 10

Prayer
      4. Offering Yourself

Scriptures:

• 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Observations:

 

The passage above is at the end of a passage on sexual immorality. Sexual sin is a complicated one. Any sin is against God, but Paul makes a distinction that sexual sin is against one's own body as well.

How does he arrive at this position? Firstly, he takes the comments of entitlement and "need" towards sex and flips them on their heads, culminating in this statement: "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body." (v13b). He then follows that up with the idea that our bodies are members, or parts, of Christ, that when two come together in intimacy, they are made as one, and that he who is joined to the Lord is one in spirit with him . He even asks the absurd question of whether we should take that which belongs to and is part of God and make it part of a prostitute, in this particular case. 

So, we see the sinning against God, how do we sin against our own body as well? Our bodies are described as temples of the Holy Spirit. That is, from a very Jewish understanding, the Holy Spirit dwells within each of us who are Christians. I think it would be fairly understandable if I were to say that, for the peoples of the time, for whom temples were very sacred spaces, desecration of a temple would be, in a sense, sinning against the temple. Now, how is a temple desecrated? By performing in it something forbidden, unholy, or against the god in question. So, if our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and sexual immorality, in its intimacy, is like giving over something which is God's in union with something contrary to it, or even joining God to the object of immorality, would that not qualify to be considered a desecration?

Maybe this idea of desecration is a little watered down, now that we don't need to come to God through a specific person at a specific place. We Christians, especially we rational, unfettered, Western Christians, tend to downplay the spiritual, even within our own churches. We rightly realise that the church building is nothing inherently special, but we seem to forget in context that it is intended to be a sacred space. In antiquity, a temple would have been where the god in question often resided or manifested him-/herself.  So, let's keep that in mind.

Our society today is so enthusiastic to drag everything good and holy down that I doubt even asking whether one would commit adultery or make/view pornography within St Peter's Basilica or some other such celebrated cathedral would have the intended effect.

Cue Paul's final words on the subject: "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body." (v20)

Application:

For me, the application is continuing on setting myself along the course of intimacy with God, realising my sin and how that affects me and my relationship with God. This was just providing a rational breakdown of some consequences of my sin.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 10: Love Is Unconditional

7 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 9

Prayer
      4. Offering Yourself

Scriptures:

• Romans 12:1-2

Observations:

So, in this passage, we have an overlap from the topic of being transformed, but the idea behind it in this study is slightly different. Whereas last week, the whole point was to encourage me to seek change from the inside, today, the point is to offer myself to God.

Paul actually calls the act of offering oneself to God as our spiritual act of worship. He also calls it a living sacrifice and, I think, this latter part is why it is the former.

What is worship? worship is the offering of deference and honour to one who deserves it. We can give worship with our mouths by what we say to someone and how we speak of them. We can worship with our thoughts in a very similar manner, after all, the thoughts preclude the speech. We can worship with our actions by following in the footsteps of an individual or by following their commands. We can worship with our spirit by aligning our hearts, wills, and intentions with someone.

As thought is to speech - the underlying basis, so the spirit is to action, except it runs even deeper. Spirit gives genuineness to our action. It changes lip service to service. It changes empty promises to promises. Why? because we actually mean what we say or do.

So, in offering our souls as living sacrifices, we are relinquishing our motivations and reasonings, acknowledging God's greatness and godhood, and making God's motivations our motivations. In essence, we are saying, "Because you are God, I will relinquish my right and be made in your image." We attune our souls to God, seeking to be of one accord with him, not merely just doing the good actions externally that, genuinely, should arise from within.

That's a scary thing, obliteration of the self, but again, I challenge myself here. Who is greater, me or God? Who is perfect, me or God? In seeking to preserve myself, I am choosing to preserve my sinfulness. In offering myself to God, in seeking transformation, I am choosing righteousness.

Application:

I think it's pretty self-explanatory. I need to turn myself over completely to God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 9: Love Makes Good Impressions

6 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 8

Prayer
      3. Seeking Intimacy with God

Scripture:

• Philippians 3:10-14

Observations:

I'm gonna backtrack to verse 8 to start.

Paul starts off saying that, because of his relationship with Christ, everything else is of no or negative value to him. He has suffered the loss of many such things in exchange for gaining Christ, being found in Christ and receiving the righteousness that comes through faith in Christ from God.

That's verses 8-9.

In verses ten and eleven, we see why Paul holds to such an ideal:

• That he may know Christ and the power of his resurrection
• That he may share his sufferings, ultimately dying for Christ
• That he may receive the resurrection from the dead

From 12 to 14, Paul is then clarifying his above statement and sharing his perspective

• He recognises that he has not obtained this [the above two passages]
• He recognises that he is not perfect
• He presses forward, though, to claim the above because he is found in Christ - Christ has claimed him
• He considers everything given by God as not belonging to him, but given to him.
• He then offers his perspective and his attitude:
• Pressing on towards the ultimate goal of Christ, for the prize that waits beyond

In breaking the passage down as such, though, I think we miss a lot of the overarching, contextual clues.

This passage is talking about coming to know Christ in greater intimacy, knowing his suffering and sharing in his death and resurrection. This is our goal which Paul says he presses on towards.

Application:

This one is both plain and not.

We have three elements modeled for us as believers. First, we are shown that intimacy with God doesn't come from our religious actions and obeisances. Instead, it comes from seeking God first, in faith. Second, we see that this righteousness from God enables us to grow in intimacy with God, seeing the weight of his sacrifice and seeking to become increasingly like him. Third, we are told to make this righteousness our own, not merely assuming we have, pushing forward in life and struggles with God as our focus and end goal

It's easy to say all this and leave it at that. As someone seeking to overcome sin, I can vouch that many times, we grow tired. We get fatigued. We get discouraged. We lose focus of God in the midst of the battle, focusing solely on the sin we're fighting  and find ourselves frustrated or burnt out.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 8: Love Is Not Jealous

Well, this is more about envy than jealousy.

Envy is wanting what someone else has

Jealousy is not wanting others to have what you have

"Because love is not selfish and puts other first, it refuses to let jealousy in.  It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them."

This isn't a major struggle for me, but it's still something that could be worked on, becoming more genuine in my praise and celebration of my wife's successes.