5 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 7

Prayer
      3. Seeking Intimacy with Christ

Scripture:

• Ephesians 3:14-19

Observations:

Amen!

The heading for this passage, "Prayer for Spiritual Strength" is exactly where I am right now.

Paul is writing of his prayer to God in light of both his calling as missionary to the Gentiles and the suffering he is undergoing. He recognises that God is the archetypal Father, of whom all other fathers are imperfect reflections - though I am not sure of the reason for making the point in this context.

What is Paul praying for?

• That you [the church at Ephesus] may be strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit residing within you, according to the richness of God's glory
• That, through your faith, Christ may dwell in your hearts
• That you may be rooted & grounded in God's love
• That you may understand the indescribable greatness of God's love
• That you may be filled with the fullness of God

So, how does that apply in fighting sin?

It has everything to do with it.

Sin is not something to be fought with external laws and actions. Sin is a matter of the heart. Here, we have the answer to sin: we need to be deeply and intimately rooted in God. As Christians, we should be seeking God, asking for strength from the Holy Spirit that resides in us. We should be driving deeper in our faith, rooting ourselves to Christ and the truth to the point that Christ is the stuff of our hearts, not our flesh. We should be praying that we would understand the greatness of his love for us.

The strength from the Holy Spirit allows us to overcome sin

Christ dwelling within our hearts gives us a new nature free from sin

Understanding the greatness of God's love drives us to reject our sin

Application:

In some ways, this is not new knowledge for me, but in other ways it is a new understanding.

In all ways, God is my source and my completion. In him, I find my victory.

He empowers me to combat my sin.

He frees me from my chains to sin

He changes my desire from sin

Nothing compares to the love of God for me

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 7: Love Believes the Best

4 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 6

Prayer
      3. Seeking Intimacy with Christ

Scripture:

• John 15:5-12

Observations:

So, here we have a pretty clear image of what intimacy with Christ should look like. The image given is that we should be connected to Christ like branches to a vine. Christ should be our base and source of  support and supply. We should have that intimate connection with Christ, being deep in his word, that what we ask for, he will provide, continuing the imagery of a branch connected to a central vine. Additionally, because we are connected to Christ, receiving water and nutrients - life - from him, we should be producing a fruit that is glorifying to God, for it is the fruit that identifies us as belonging to Christ. 

Those not abiding in Christ do not have the same water and nutrient supply, and so they do not produce fruit and they wither. These branches are only good for burning.

So, we are encouraged to remain in Christ - to abide in his love just as he has in God's love. And we are to love one another, also, as Christ loves us. Why? So that our joy may be full.

Application:

I know I'm trying to reconnect with Christ in a deeper way than I have been. I also know that the only thing I can do towards that goal is simply to surrender myself and make myself available to him. That's something difficult, because, sinfully, I want to be me. I want to have myself. I don't want to be, as my sin-induced fears prompt, an empty shell filled by God, a husk or a puppet.

I know that's sin, though, because where in the Bible to we ever get the idea that giving ourselves over to God is surrendering our personalities, identities, or quirks? No, the only thing that is removed is the sin nature which we have so long identified as our selves. Many of my foibles, in some way, are connected to and built off of my sin and, since I identify myself largely by my sin, wrongdoing, coverups, and attempts to be "normal", to be free of that mess, to be free of my sinful self, seems like a violence against my identity. 

The other aspect is the fear of the unknown. I don't know what I would be like if my sin were replaced by God. Much of my godliness is self-imposed and self-worked. So, to see such a drastic degree of change, there is a sinful fear of a holy God and the amount of change that would be wreaked in me if I allowed God to do his thing.

So, what do I do, I pay lip service to God and hold tight to the reins.

I really, really need to give up control, open up all corners of my life and be restored.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 6: Love Is Not Irritable

Irritability. I'd like to say I'm not an irritable person, but I know I can be. It tends to come in waves, like when I've just settled myself down to study for an hour or two and my wife comes to engage with me playfully. I shouldn't be irritable, but, because I placed studying of higher importance than her and allowed myself to be controlled by the pace of school and the test right around the corner, I am.

Add to that, I don't take proper care of myself. I over-relax to cope with the volume of work I have, which leads me to frantically cramming the same volume into less time... Yeah, it's a vicious cycle that leads to me responding poorly in an unloving way.

"The Bible can help you avoid unhealthy stress.  It teaches you to let love guide your relationships to so you aren’t caught up in unnecessary arguments (Colossians 3:12-14).  To pray through your anxieties instead of tackling them on your own (Philippians 4:6-7).  To delegate when you are overworked (Exodus 18:17-23).  To avoid overindulgence (Proverbs 23:16)"

Yeah, I'm guilty of the above, but the largest problem sources are yet to come

Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule.  But selfishness also wears many other masks:

"Lust... is the result of being ungrateful for what you have and choosing to covet or burn with passion for something that is forbidden. ... (James 4:1-3).  Bitterness takes root when he is provoked (Ephesians 4:31). Greed for more money and possessions will frustrate you with unfulfilled desires (1 Timothy 6:9-10).  ...  Pride leads you to act harshly in order to protect your ego and reputation."

 Lust - dissatisfaction, wanting something I don't have, looking for satisfaction outside of wat I do have.
Bitterness - sparked by the above dissatisfaction
Greed - not as much, but money does make me stressed
Pride - usually sparked by the revealing of lust...

Dang. I'm being called out right now.

"These motivations can never be satisfied.  But when love enters your heart, it calms you down and inspires you to quit focusing on yourself.  It loosens your grasp and helps you let go of unnecessary things."

So, kinda with the John passage above, letting go of myself and abiding in God's love, then giving God's love to others.

"In each decision, love ultimately lowers your stress and helps you release the venom that can build up inside. It then sets up your heart to respond to your spouse with patience and encouragement rather than anger and exasperation." 

3 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 5

Prayer
      3. Seeking Intimacy with Christ

Scriptures:

• John 10:10

Observations:

"The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy..."

In context, the thief is whoever is not the shepherd. In the same passage, Christ identifies himself as the Shepherd. So, I think it's safe to say that anything other than Christ which is presenting itself to us as something good and fulfilling, ultimately serves the express purpose detailed above - to steal us away from God, to kill us (to kill our joy, to kill our hope, to kill our faith, etc), and to destroy us (to keep us from following or turning to God).

"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

So, we see that choosing God leads to life, in comparison, but we're not just talking basic subsistence, living on scraps type of life, but a life that overflows.

Now, that doesn't mean we'll all be flying private jets like Creflo Dollar, but it means that we will have enough of what we need and plenty of the things that truly make life worthwhile: Love, joy, hope, forgiveness, etc.

Applications:

This, really, is the first key to true satisfaction. resting in God and allowing him to meet your needs, being grateful for what he has given and is giving to you.

I think satisfaction was a part of what led me to sin. I was not plugging as deeply into God; I was seeking things outside of my relationship with God or my wife for satisfaction; and these things were not satisfying. Looking back, this has been going on for easily two years, with undercurrents predisposing me to such an attitude running far longer. I allowed myself to follow the thief instead of waiting for the shepherd, while convincing myself I was following the shepherd.

So, I need to, again, cling to Christ, being satisfied in him and finding my value in him, not in others' perspectives or conversations, or activities, or desserts, or certain other sins which do not need to be mentioned here.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 5: Love Is Not Rude

"To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. In marriage, this could be ... a habit of making sarcastic quips."

Dang. Got me. I'm almost never directing them at my wife... at least not the mean ones, anyways, but I'm definitely full of a probably unhealthy dose of snark and sarcasm.

"When a man is driven by love, he intentionally behaves in a way that's more pleasant for his wife to be around." 

"Good manners expresses to your wife or husband, 'I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you." 

"There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness... You know the rules but can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care."

These just hit pretty hard. Yeah, I'm full of sarcasm and snark and it's not good. Most of it stems from condescension, especially toward those who appear ignorant to me. In relational cases, I think it's a defense mechanism, keeping myself at a distance from anything that could even come close to making me feel something by standing back and skewering it with my tongue.

Prayer:

In private again, but I'm praying over my selfishness, rudeness, and sarcasm; drawing nearer to God and finding greater satisfaction in him, asking for strength in my daily war against sin, and for my wife.

2 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 4

Prayer

     2. Renouncing Conformity

Scriptures:

• Romans 6:13-14

Observations:

So, this is in the context of the passage talking about our past slavery to sin and our new life in Christ.

Specifically, here's the breakdown I see:

• Do not present yourself or parts of yourself as instruments for sin
• Present yourself and parts of yourself to God as instruments for righteousness
• Why? Because sin has no more dominion over us
• Why? We have been brought from death to life
• Why? Because we are no longer under the law, but under God's grace

Really, what Paul is saying here, if I may take the liberty of paraphrasing, is, "Guys, because of God's grace, you no longer need to focus on not sinning. God's grace given to you is sufficient to keep you from sin and render you effectively righteous through Christ. So, focus on God and stop giving yourself up to sin!"

I kinda imagine Paul's tone here to be that of the loving, but exasperated (and slightly snarky), fatherly uncle figure.

The shift in focus from not sinning to God is crucial. As long as we continue to focus on not sinning, we continue to focus on our sin, while relying on ourselves. In focusing on God, we focus on God, rely on God, and we find ourselves obeying God, which means we wind up sinning less, ultimately becoming free from sin. And that, in part, is what I think Paul was meaning in yesterday's passage on being transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Application:

I really need to take in today's and yesterday's passages. I find myself often focusing on my sin. I'm not trying to present myself as instruments for sin, but I find myself trying to pretty myself up so that I can present myself to God. Where, since the coming of Christ, did God ever say we had to be perfect before we could come to him? God came to us in our imperfection to redeem us and impute Christ's righteousness upon us. God did all the work so that we can come to him. That was the significance of the tearing of the curtain in the temple, as described in Matthew 27. Christ, God himself, is our mediator. We no longer need the proxy of a high priest.

This is something that I really needed to understand. I pulled out from different ministries I was involved in because of my sin, feeling that I could not contribute as I am. 

Where I say, "I'm not good enough." God says, "My grace is sufficient."

Does this mean I'm ready to jump back into ministry, not necessarily, but it does show me that I really need to be clinging to Christ above all else. I need to submit myself to Christ and let him remake me instead of trying to remake myself as I see God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

"If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship."

Following this statement, there is an excerpt talking about how men are much more prone to this than women, being able to hyper-focus on one specific thing to the exclusion of all else, while women are more able to multitask different activities and thoughts and tend to have a more relational mindset than men do.

I can attest to both of these statements. The number of times I've heard my wife ask something to the degree of how I could be so dense/clueless/thoughtless is a little too high to be proud of.

Prayer:

(In private)

1 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 3

Prayer

         2. Renouncing Conformity

Scriptures:

• Romans 12:2

Observations:

Okay, so passage breakdown:

• Do not conform to the world
• Be transformed
• How, by the renewing of your mind
• Why, that you may discern God's will by testing
• That is, what is good, acceptable, and perfect

Do not conform to the world. Sounds pretty straightforward. Any time in which my interactions lead me to an intersection of the world's way and God's way, I should not choose the world's way.

How can I do that? By choosing the other way, which is partly choosing God's way and partly allowing myself to be changed by God, having my mind reset, so to speak, according to God's will, because, it is only through God working in us that we could or would even have the thought to follow God, let alone be able to choose that.

Why do I say that?

Well, earlier in Romans, Paul specifically states that we are no longer slaves to sin. We are no longer obligated to give in to sin, but are now empowered both to see what is right and to do what is right.

Incidentally, Paul calls us, in that same passage, slaves to righteousness. In entertaining sin, we entertain treason. In committing sin, we deal treacherously with our master. Sin does not come from allegiance with God. As Paul writes in Galatians, we should be seeing the fruit of the spirit, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control, coming from those who claim allegiance with God. We should, as James writes, be displaying our faith by our works, because a faith that does not produce outward manifestation is dead.

So, then, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That's all well and good, but why?

So that we may discern God's will, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.

By tuning our minds to God, we are able to test the different thoughts and ideas that come to and from us. We can check and see if they are of God and, for those who are new and may be a little iffy on what something that is of God looks like, it is good, that is, it works for the betterment of others and for the self; it is acceptable, that is, it is morally and sometimes socially permissible (Not everything socially permissible is acceptable by God's standard); and it is perfect, that is, it has nothing of sin or wrongdoing in it.

So, to make an example, which happens to hit fairly close to home, let's use looking at a woman lustfully - and I'm not even talking imagining her naked, we'll keep it to simply "appreciating" what she looks like.

• Is it good? No
• It contributes to the devaluing and objectifying (i.e. dehumanising) of women.
• It instills a false sense of permission, control, and entitlement in the mindset of the man in question, while also encouraging him to seek his pleasure from external engagements and shallow sources instead of internally, within himself, between himself and God, and between himself and his spouse.
• Is it acceptable? No
• The only ones who would even hesitate to say no, or would say so whingingly are the ones who have grown a sense of entitlement to do so, finding ways to justify it and keep it apparently acceptable.
• Is it perfect? No
• Aside from the face that it debases women, Jesus describes it as a form of adultery.
• Additionally, it strays from the intention of intimacy and sexuality established by God and, if we hold the posit that God is by nature perfect, then anything that strays from the way given by God must be imperfect.

How do we break this mindset? Well, first, as we've seen previously, we must be aware of it and bring it to confession. Secondly, as we're seeing today, we must renounce the world's standards and allow God to reconfigure our hearts and minds according to his way, that we might be able to discern his direction and follow it.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 3: Love is not selfish

Oy vey, do I have a problem with selfishness. I do what I want, when I want. I do what others want when it's convenient for me. Even doing good things to get a favourable result counts as selfish. Dang! I know I'm guilty of trying to manipulate people and gain leverage to get what I want and have had minor sulk sessions when I don't get my way.

"Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others... Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say 'no' to what you want so you can say 'yes' to what they need."

My first resistance is to ask, "But what about what I want?" That's a pretty selfish question. This excerpt isn't saying I can't experience happiness, but that I should put my wife's happiness and well-being above my own.

"The truth is, when you relinquish your right for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage."

This is one of those things where my head sees the sense and logic, of giving myself over to something greater than myself, but my selfish heart, the very same one that got me into this huge sin mess, is screaming, "No! I want what I want and I'm gonna get it!"

Yeah, that's definitely something to take to God in prayer.

30 November 2015 + Love Dare Day 2

Prayer

1. Confession

Scriptures:

• 1 John 1:7-10

Observations:

If we follow Christ an walk in his way, we have fellowship with him and other believers

If we say we have no sin, we delude ourselves and we do not have the truth

If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us

If we say we have never sinned we make God out to be a liar and his word is not in us

That's my paraphrase.

What is part of confession, then, is admitting, first, that we do sin. If I deny my sin, or delude myself in order to not see my sin, then I am not in God. After all, if I were dwelling in God and God in me, then I would not be able to stand my sin. 

I can attest to this in this current struggle in my life. Increasingly, I am seeing my sin and now numb I had become to my sin. It's disturbing to see how easily and prevalently I sin, especially now that I am trying to change and keep from sinning. In some ways, it seems like the temptation to sin has increased because of my determination to not sin, which I can believe.

Another aspect of confession, is that confession brings us closer into fellowship and rightness with God.

I can attest to this as well. Sin isolates. I have never felt so alone as when I was neck-deep in sin. Even when I have sinned in smaller ways with greater impact, I find myself trying to isolate myself as punishment, yet yearning for fellowship despite it.

The last aspect of confession that I see here is forgiveness and cleansing.

This, also, I can attest to. I find myself most afraid and terrified before I come to confess, either to God or the aggrieved party. That fear is not of God, though, as John writes later in this letter that there is no fear in love, but that perfect love drives out fear. Fear keeps me from confessing and keeps me separated from the body of Christ. Confession brings forgiveness and, sometimes immediately, sometimes over a long period of struggle, cleansing from sin.

Application:

Well, it's pretty straightforward, I think: take the time and confess my sins. Even though it may be fearful, difficult, or even hurtful to another, it is best that I confess my sins instead of letting them fester, laying them out on the table, in full view, that they can be worked upon.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 2: "Love is Kind"

A couple things that stand out:

• Kindness maximises a positive circumstance
• Kindness creates a blessing
• Kindness is reactive

I totally get the patience side of things, which is damage control, avoidance of a problem, and reactive. Kindness, being proactive, does not come naturally to me.

Let's look at the breakdown given of kindness:

• Gentleness - I kinda get it. It comes out more at timidity, though
• Helpfulness - Maybe a bit too much
• Willingness - Yeah, I fit this bill to a degree. I tend to make a lot of excuses when I'm busy doing something more enjoyable, though
• Initiative - Yeah, no. This one is largely what's lacking in me

Dare: Do one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness

Seeing as I won't see much of my wife today, this may be a bit difficult, but I think I can manage

Prayer:

In private today