9 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 36

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Corinthians 6:18-19

Observations:

I know, this verse has popped up many times in this study. Looking at this a second time, after asking God to show me what it is that he wanted me to see in particular, he took me to the very end of verse 19: "You are not your own." Additionally, the very initial command, "Flee sexual immorality," stands out as well.

Why should we flee sexual immorality? Well, quite simply, we don't belong to ourselves. We belong to God and, for those of us that are married, we belong to our spouses. As Paul writes, "the sexually immoral person sins against his own body," we are reminded that in sinning sexually, we are defiling ourselves. Would I present to God a defiled offering? Would I present to my wife my defiled self?

What if our sexual sins left marks and sores on us? Would we present ourselves to our spouses covered in oozing, suppurating sores? Would our spouses happily join with us were that the case?

Why, then, do we let these sins rot our minds, souls, and bodies and then expect that we can give ourselves to God and our spouses like nothing is wrong? We must resist the temptation and flee. Sometimes, that means stopping what you're doing and physically leaving. For others, that means strong moments of prayer, relying on God for protection. We need to learn what we can do in and of ourselves, but we also need to learn to trust God above and beyond our own ability.

Application:

The reminder that I am not my own reminds me that my sins, particularly relationally or sexually do not merely impact me, but they impact my wife as well. In light of that, I cling to the beginning of the passage and resolve to make fleeing my first response in times of temptation, whether that means removing myself physically or focusing on another thought mentally. I also resolve to continue submitting to God, growing in trust with him, learning that I can hand my temptation to him and he will be faithful.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 36: Love is God's Word

8 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 35

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Corinthians 6:9

Observations:

From the beginning, this verse makes it very clear that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God. In context, this would be referring to moneylending. However, Paul does take the time to add a couple other sins to the list to make a point, including sexual sin.                                                                                                                     

Application:

I know I'm much less wordy than normal. That's due, in part, to lack of sleep and part to the straightforwardness of the material.

As far as application goes, we need to make right with God. If we're not moving towards him, seeking righteousness, then we have no guarantee of salvation. It is only through the righteousness of Christ that we can be considered righteous and worthy of being in God's presence.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 35: Love is Accountable

The authors, here, are talking about getting plugged in to an older, longer-married couple, a mentor, a pastor, or counselor for wisdom and guidance though the tough passages in life.

7 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 34

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Romans 8:6

Observations:

This passage is in the middle of a segment in Romans discussing condemnation of sin in the flesh due to Christ's sacrifice and the victory of the law of the Spirit over the law of sin and death. Because of this, righteousness may now be attributed to us, not because we do good works, but because Christ himself was sinless, should we accept his sacrifice on his behalf. 

From the preceding to the following verses, Paul writes, 

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

That is today's verse in its immediate context. What's nice is Paul later sets those who follow Christ, being indwelt by him, as dwelling in the Spirit.

Application:

From what I can see, the whole point of today's passage, even in its greater context, is to serve as an exhortation to set my mind on Christ, being a similar reminder to past days, but in different words. Something that does draw my eye, though is that last sentence. I am guilty of trying to please God from my flesh, of trying to do enough good to be counted righteous pr trying to control my own sin instead of relying on God.

For me, what I need to do is to set my mind on Christ, not my own ability, and let God take over the battle for me.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 34: Love Celebrates Godliness

"You are one of the most influential people in your spouse’s life. Have you been using your influence to lead them to honor God, or to dishonor Him?"

This is a very good question and one which I am turning into a "Yes". I don't lead the most effectively or efficiently, but I am and have been making intentional time spent together in prayer a priority as well as encouraging my wife in her own devotional time while taking the effort to do my quiet time at home in the mornings before getting ready for the day.

6 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 33

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Matthew 5:8

Observations:

Blessed are they whose affections, understanding, and underlying motives are unpolluted and able to stand before God. This is what Christ is saying. As Matthew Henry writes, "The heart must be purified by faith, and kept for God."

Now, as we all know, the only one who can make us pure is God. I cannot make myself pure no matter how much work and effort I pour towards that goal. I am by nature sinful and can therefore never overcome my sin of my own strength.

Application:

Once again, God is telling me to let go and submit to him, to let him do the work. 

Letting go is difficult. I keep feeling like I can do it, that I can handle my sin and remove it without God, but I cannot. All that happens is I become so focused on negating temptation that I become distant, my wife is hurt, and my joy is stolen. 

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 33: Love Completes Each Other

5 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 32

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Job 31:1-4

Observations:

Most immediately, we see Job's covenant to not look at another woman lustfully.

What we also see is some of his reasoning. We see him asking what God's response would be if he sinned, pondering the answer of calamity and destruction as punishment for the unrighteous, noting that God sees all - nothing escapes him.

Why does all of this matter? Job is already struck down. He is already as low as he can be and still, he is pleading his innocence. His friends are all haranguing him, because clearly God would not be allowing all of this to happen if Job hadn't sinned in some way, goes their reasoning. Job is pleading with God, seeking the answer to this mystery.

Something worth noting, though, is that this is an Old Testament passage alluding to what Christ taught about adultery, that even so much as lustful gazing is sin. Here we have someone protesting his innocence to the point where he is saying that not only did he never commit adultery, but he never even gave another woman so much as a lustful glance. This man lived before the ten commandments and he still had such a great understanding of God.

Application:

I want to be like Job in his resolve. I want to make a covenant with God to the same effect, though I know I struggle with that same issue and I would eventually break it, heaping condemnation upon myself.

Yet, still, I can and will make a similar covenant with God, knowing that only through God could I ever begin to fulfill such a covenant.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 32: Love Meets Sexual Needs

"Sex is not to be used as a bargaining chip. It is not something God allows us to withhold without consequence. Though there can be abuses to this divinely designed framework, the heart of marriage is one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other’s needs."

4 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 31

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Proverbs 8:13

Observations:

This is a very straightforward passage. If I say I love God and I follow him with my whole heart, that he is head over my life, then I will abhor evil. One cannot love both God and evil. They are at loggerheads. Evil is disobedience of God. One will either love God and hate evil or vice versa.

What's interesting, though, is the author of the proverb then lists a few things which fall into the category of evil:

• Pride & arrogance
• The way of evil
• Perverted speech

To be honest, I am unsure of what is meant by, "the way of evil." After looking up a couple commentaries it appears that "way of evil" could be understood as " a manner of life that is evil".

Pride and arrogance are spoken of many times as roots for evil which are to be avoided. Evil actions and attitudes have been spoken of at length. Perverse speech, to my knowledge, has been spoken of less so.

In today's day, the idea of perversity has a sexual connotation - it is a behaviour or attitude towards sex and sexuality which is base, twisted or divergent from the norm. A better definition of perversity, however, would be "the willful misrepresentation of that which is good and true". Dirty speech oftentimes still falls under this blanket, as the wanton, jocular sexualisation of innocent comments or actions would still be defined as perversity under the second definition, but, more than that, the idea of perversity is opened up to people whose speech denies Christ or twists the Bible to their own ends. It is opened up to those who willfully lie or spin the truth to benefit themselves. 

So, this proverb, then, looks at three areas in which evil takes root in our lives:

• Our attitude
• Our actions
• Our speech

If we were to follow God in his hatred of evil, we would begin work on the sins of our life in these three areas, giving them up to him, being diligent to seek him for his presence, truth, and restoration, and removing ourselves from our old ways of being, doing, and speaking.

I would add a fourth to this list, though:

• Our thoughts and feelings

Some would say they are an extension of our attitude, but our thoughts and feelings preclude our actions and speech. If we adjust our actions and speech, maybe even adjusting our attitude, but do not adjust the thoughts of our heart or mind, then we have only whitewashed over the cracks. If we have not treated the lingering emotions over another's actions, then we are not truly free from our sin. We need to treat the foundational, more hidden areas of our life just as much as the more visible, if not more.

Application:

 Jesus' summary of the ten commandments begins as follows: "Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."

In my emotions, being, thoughts, actions, and speech, I need to actively choose God over sin. These five areas are important, being all tied to each other in our different spheres of activity. If God is in my being, then he affects by thoughts and feelings. If God is present in what I think and how I react/feel, then he affects my actions and speech. 

I need to be steeped in God, permeated with his presence, that others around me may see him.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 31: Love and Marriage

Te authors are breaking down the two elements of Genesis 2:24, that a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his spouse, becoming one flesh.

The purpose of “leaving,” of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture.

We're not in the business of burning bridges. God isn't saying you cannot be close to your family or previous friends after being married, but he is saying that the manner by which you engage has changed. You and your spouse have become one entity. This is something I am slowly beginning to understand as I approach a mere 6 months of marriage and it is something I will always continue to grow in understanding. A man and wife are to one in spirit, mind, and purpose, to cling to one another in love and affection, not to stray and seek that from others or to lean on others outside of the marriage union.

“Cleaving” carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety.

The authors take some time to illustrate the effect of cleaving in God's model for marriage, creating oneness in decision-making, priorities, and sexuality. God designed the physical act of sex to be a glue, binding two people together - another reason to avoid pre- or extra-marital affairs and sex, but that's not a discussion for this immediate time - and encouraging them to see one another eye-to-eye, as God sees them.

Do many couples succeed in this? I can't say. I'd like to hope that most Christian couples do, but I am proof that Christians are still able to screw things up. Loving is difficult. It is the accepting of a person in all their faults, problems, and hurtfulnesses, choosing to see them as God sees them, and opening yourself to God to fill you with what you cannot make yourself. It's easy to love someone as they appear, when you're dating or during the honeymoon. When you begin to see someone as they are and when that person begins to see you as you are, that's when truly loving in the spirit of God begins.

It's a choice, people, and it's a glorious collision.

3 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 30

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Proverbs 5:18-20

Observations:

The first two verses here are a powerful exhortation that couldn't have come on a better day. Today, in this verse, I am encouraged to hold on to my wife and to exult in her beauty and pleasure in her always. There is passion here - look at the writer's choice of words:

"Let your fountain be blessed,    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,   a lovely deer, a graceful doe.Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;   be intoxicated always in her love."

These are no pithy words (and frankly, they're somewhat erotic, but hey, God is the author of love).

The writer encourages us men to be intoxicated, drunk, on our wives, filled to a stupour with our love for her. We are to be so blessed by her, rejoicing in her to such great delight that we are like those dunk on wine when we consider our wives.

From there, then, comes the loaded question: with such great, intoxicating love for your wife, why would you go seek it somewhere else?

"Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman   and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?"

The wisdom of God is to rejoice and exult in our wives. Sometimes that's not easy, but every day it is our choice. We choose how we respond to her. Do I complain about her dragon breath in the morning? How do I consider her requests? Are they nagging to me or am I listening deeper to hear her heart? These are examples of how we can consciously love our wives. Give your ability to love over to God and watch him do some amazing work.

Application:

God, today, I rejoice and thank you. I reflect on this verse and I see its truth. You, oh Lord, have given me a wife who is fearfully and wonderfully made and in her I am making the choice to be not only satisfied, but filled. Help me daily, to continue making this choice, turning away from the tawdry mimicries of the world and feasting myself on things of you, my wife included.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 30:  Love Brings Unity

Today, the authors are speaking about the unity of the Trinity, God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, how they are one in nature, purpose, spirit, etc. They're also talking about how marriage has an opportunity to reflect that.

"Husband – What would happen in your marriage if you devoted yourself to loving, honoring, and serving your wife in all things? What if you determined that the preservation of your oneness with this woman was worth every sacrifice and expression of love you could make? What would change in your home if you took that approach to your relationship on a daily basis?"

I and my wife are as one flesh before God. It's about time I really started acting like it.