Scriptures:
- James 1:14
Observations:
"But each person is tempted when he is lured away and enticed by his own desires."
This comes from the middle of a short passage talking about where temptation comes from and what it leads to. Temptation, James writes, does not come from God, but, as we see above, from within one's own desires. He then goes on to say that temptation, when allowed to conceive gives birth to sin and sin to death.
I like that imagery of temptation conceiving, by the way. I took a look into the definition of conceive and what I found on dictionary.com really illustrates beyond the imagery of pregnancy and birth:
- To form a notion or idea of, to imagine
- To experience or form (a feeling)
- To hold as an opinion, think, believe
- Derived from the Latin, concipere - to take fully, to take in
So, how then does sin progress?
Our flesh acts out of a base desire and brings forth a tantalising morsel, something tempting. We allow the morsel to take root. We think on it. We dwell on it. We take it in. When the temptation has fully taken root, it leads us to sin.
Note, temptation never presents itself as something ugly or detrimental. No one would fall for it, then. No, temptation presents itself as innocuous or pleasant and allows itself to grow. That being said, it is possible to become completely desensitized and enslaved to sin, at which point, there is no need for the slow, creeping front of subtle enticement - the temptation can present itself full frontal, as bold as brass, knowing it will be readily accepted.
Application:
I need to be wise, canny to the methods of temptation used by my sinful nature and the devil. As I've been combating sin more militantly, I've noticed temptation coming by more guerrilla routes. Instead of "Think lustful thoughts about this person," I'm faced with something more like, "Hey, remember this person?" I know the voice, the source of the thoughts and I know where I will be railroaded. The trick is to be aware and to lean on God for his discernment. If I spend time seeking God, learning his voice, then I will be able to discern what is not him. I'm still raw and green in my war. I need to maintain godly vigilance, but I also need to keep away from the sin trap that I can do it all on my own, or that I can gloss over details in confession to paint a better picture of myself. These, too, are sins. They're just different sins, but they'll compromise us in our war against more obvious, immediately damaging sins.
~ ~ ~
The Love Dare
Day 17: Love Promotes Intimacy
""The prospect of sharing our home with another person who knows us down to the most intimate detail is part of the deep pleasure of marriage. Yet this great blessing is also the site of its greatest danger. Someone who knows us this intimately can either love us at a depth we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from."Thus far, true.
"If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else. Perhaps you might look to another person initiating a relationship that either flirts with adultery or actually enters in. You may look for comfort in work or outside hobbies, something that partially shields you from intimacy but also keeps you around people who respect and accept you."Umm, definitely.
"Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on eggshells in the very place where they ought to feel the most comfortable in their bare feet. "Can y'all stop reading my mind and confronting me with the attitudes and perceptions that led me to my sin?
"Admittedly, this is tender territory. Marriage has unloaded another person’s baggage into your life, and yours into theirs. ... Some of these secrets may need correcting. Therefore, you can be an agent of healing and repair – not by lecturing, not by criticizing, but by listening in love and offering support. Some of these secrets just need to be accepted. They are part of this person’s make-up and history. And though these issues may not be very pleasant to deal with, they will always require a gentle touch."Oy vey. Here's the kicker. I didn't do the stuff listed here very well, if at all. Instead, I did three of the four things listed in the second quote and set myself on the path towards the remaining one. Instead of dealing with our differences and personal issues in a healthy way, I turned off and started looking for things outside my marriage in an attempt to satisfy my needs and personal problems.
"In either case, you and you alone wield the power either to reject your spouse because of this or to welcome them in – warts and all. They will either know they’re in a place of safety where they are free to make mistakes, or they will recoil into themselves and be lost to you, perhaps forever. Loving them well should be your life’s work."This is what I'm learning. It's what I'm trying to do, not as an outward whitewashing of my own struggles and an external temporary fix, but actually as a heart change that will last.
"This may be an area where you’ve really failed in the past. If so, don’t expect your mate to immediately give you wide-open access to their heart. You must begin to rebuild trust. ... The reality of intimacy always takes time to develop, especially after being compromised. But your commitment to re-establishing it can happen today – for anyone willing to take the dare."
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