1 January 2016 + Love Dare Day 28

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Psalm 101:2-3

Observations:

Here, we have four statements:

I will ponder the way that is blameless - This ties in to the last couple days. Don't dwell on your sin or temptations, feast your mind on Christ and things of Christ

I will walk with integrity of heart within my house - Within our houses, our homes, is where the effects of our hidden sins come back to haunt us. If you're engaging in things outside of your marriage, you will be most aware of it when under the attention of your family, your spouse especially, who are able to tell if something's off. What the psalmist is writing, then, is that he will conduct himself with such integrity within his heart that he can walk with confidence within his own house.

I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless - What is worthless? What has no value? Ultimately, it is anything which does not propel you before God. In the context of sin, then, temptations, invitations to sin are worthless. That could be flyers for a casino, a romance novel, pornography. Heck, it could even be your neighbour's house, if it tempts you to covetousness. Do not look at or allow yourself to process and reflect on anything which causes you to sin, let alone sins themselves.

I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me - We should have an attitude that despises sin. Not only that, but we should be so steeped in prayer that sin rolls off us like water off a raincoat.

Application:

1. I continue to seek after God and seek to dwell upon his truth
2. I will continue to build integrity in my heart, not allowing myself to fall prey to fantasy or the "need" to impress
3. I will continue to remove temptations from my presence or myself from temptation
4. I will continue to hate my sin and not associate with those who would encourage it

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 28: Love Makes Sacrifices

"[T]he only way we notice that life is hard for our mate is when they start complaining about it.  Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude.  The pain and pressure they’re under don’t register with us the way it does when it’s our pain and pressure."

I think if my wife could really hone in on the one thing I do the worst/least, it's this. My emotional availability is, frankly, at the scope to which I use it, which is almost nonexistent. I quite literally use emotional awareness to pick up on certain social cues and to get myself out of trouble, which is very detrimental to a marriage, especially one to a dominant feeler. (If you want to go all MBTI, I'm an ENTP, she's an ISFJ).

"This doesn’t happen when love is at work.  Love doesn’t have to be jarred awake by your mate’s obvious signs of distress.  Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode.  It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. ... Love makes sacrifices.  It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked.  And when you don’t notice ahead of time and must be told what’s happening, love responds to the heart of the problem."

This is how I should be acting. This is how I've been asked to act (and I'm pretty sure it stings that she even had to ask me). I don't have this concept of intentionality and attentiveness down very well.

"Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you don’t feel like it?Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?"

Even I, in my callous state can see my wife is struggling with some of these issues. That is, I see them now, when someone's asking specifically about them, but in the moment, that's not what I see, partly because of the blue/pink language gap, but partly because emotionally, I'm not present and I don't read between the lines for what the real problem is.