8 Aug 2015

Scriptures:

• Mark 4:1-34
• Jeremiah 34
• Judges 18
• Psalm 6

Observations:

Verses that stand out to me:

• Mark 4:7, 18-19
• Mark 4:30-32
• Jer. 34:15-16

So, the various passages, the parable of the sower, in Mark, the disobedience of Israel and fall of Zedekiah in Jeremiah, the pseudo-godliness of the tribe of Dan in Judges and the weeping of the psalmist for mercy in Psalm 6.

For me, I see aspects of myself - the wheat choked with weeds - running through the whole set of passages. I try and yearn after God, seeking Him in necessary decisions, following his directions (especially during times of duress), but afterwards, I find myself allowing myself to be choked in the weeds of my life. Sometimes, those weeds are schedules, finances, workloads, things which are imposed on me by my current situation in life. Other times, those weeds are procrastination, hedonism, willfulness, my preferences to do things I enjoy or that I find to be easy instead of doing the necessary or difficult, that might require some measure of consistency or perseverance. Like the tribe of Dan, I see myself seeking God in tough times, then making selfish, Godless decisions where the whim comes and life is assured or easy. Like the Israelites under Zedekiah, I see myself following God's edicts when there is a direct command, but sliding back into my ways, wholly or partly, as time passes and my vigilance/discipline wanes.

To my shame, I find myself unlike the psalmist. I am not begging for mercy and beating back my oppressors with words of God's presence. Instead, I find myself content in my half-heartedness, seeing no reason to change.

Application:

This is the hard part. I am fully able to see both what is required of me and my sinful inertia (a body at rest or in motion prefers to remain at rest or in motion). I see that I am called to step forward in consistency, in discipline, to remember my calling as a Christian, and yet, I feel the hubris around my heart, stifling that, telling me to stay seated and let life pass me by, that Christ will still use me eventually, sometime in the future. 

I cannot believe this lie and I must instead do what is difficult, what I do not want to do, which is move. I must discipline myself in mindfulness.

Prayer:

Lord, forgive my lukewarmness. Starting today, I ask that you would push me to discipline. Help me to build the endurance and strength necessary to run this race marked out for me. Break this callus of stagnant immotion that suffocates my heart; let your word shine through. I ask you to rekindle my desire to serve you actively and to help me guard vigilantly against its waning. Lord, I love you and I thank you for this wake-up call that you have given to me. Bless my wife in her dedication to you. I thank you for your wisdom given to her, which you have used in my awakening. May her life be a blessing to you.

Lord, I pray for the various ministries I partake in, as a husband, youth leader, worship leader, student, and classmate. I ask that as I embark on this journey, that you would touch each one, bringing yourself to each of them, through your work in me. Grow me in your word and in your likeness.

Amen