30 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 26

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Philippians 4:8

Observations:

When you're thinking about battling sin, this verse is not often one which comes to mind, but it plays on an idea that's very important.  We cannot focus solely on not sinning, especially when it comes to the mind.

This passage isn't saying "Whatever is false, whatever is dishonourable, whatever is unjust, whatever is defiled, whatever is unlovely, whatever is reprimandible, if there is any failure, if there is anything deplorable, don't think about these things"

No, on the contrary, the passage is telling us to think about things which are true, honourable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Simply not thinking about sin isn't enough. If we focus completely on not sinning, we lose sight of God and, eventually, will sin. If we focus on God and the things of God, we will find ourselves both moving closer to God and not sinning.

Now, again, it's easier to try and white knuckle sin, to try and discipline ourselves with such great discipline that sin is bound by the same fetters that bound the mythical Fenris wolf. I can vouch first-hand that such strategies can work. I can also vouch that they rob you of your joy and still have the capacity to fail.

In times of temptation, it's not enough to avoid the thought pattern that is presented to us - we will still find backdoor ways to "not think" about the temptation and so, still give in to sin. We need to replace the thoughts. One thing I'd read was a recommendation to pray for those whom you are tempted to think sinfully about. Sometimes, that works, but if you're going in your own strength it's the same as a back door. What Paul is recommending to the Philippians, though this passage is not specifically about sin, is to fill their mind with things of God on the course of seeking righteousness through Christ.

Application:

Let's practice some thought replacement:

• What are the lies being told to me? What are God's truths?
• How am I tempted to think dishonourably? What is the honourable thought?
• Where is the injustice in my thought? What would instead be just?
• What of my thoughts are defiled? What is God's pure intention?
• What of my thoughts are ugly or unlovely? What thoughts would show love?
• What of my thoughts would others reprimand me for? What is the commendable inverse?
• Am I dwelling in my failure? Where has God given me success?
• What am I punishing myself for? Where am I worthy of praise?

I tend to share Augustine's stance that evil is not an entity of itself, but rather the absence, corruption, or lessening of good. Evil is the direct contradiction of what God has established, the twisting and fouling of what God has made, or the exchange of God's perfection, commands, and desires for lesser things.

Simply removing the absences and perversions of good, along with lesser goods leaves behind a void which will be filled most easily by our conditioning, which would then restock the individual with the same or worse evils. Overwriting ourselves to think about Godly things, goodly things, drowns out evil and, when the two strategies are employed together, can serve to uproot and replace the evils we've bought in to.

Now, here's the catch, being by nature imperfect, I cannot provide true Godly substitution. All the goods that I am able to conceive either come from God or are inherently flawed. Chocolate is true, honourable, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy, but if I replace evil with chocolate, then I am still sinning, because I am still resorting to a lesser good than God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 26: Love is Responsible

"We tend to believe that our views are correct, or at least much more correct than our mate’s.  And we don’t believe that anybody, give our same set of circumstances, would act much differently than we have.  As far as we’re concerned, we’re doing the best we can.  And our spouse just ought to be glad we’re as good to them as we are. But love doesn’t pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives.  Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with other’s needs.  When love takes responsibility for its actions, it’s not to prove how noble you’ve been but rather to admit how much further you have to go. Love doesn’t make excuses.  Love keeps working to make a difference – in you and in your marriage."

It's a wall of text, but it's one I associate with very much. I always have my defense ready, full of ways and reasons to explain and pardon myself from my actions, oftentimes with very little remorse. Love should be less concerned with the appearance of the self and more concerned about the state of the other.

"That’s why the next time you’re in an argument with your spouse, instead of working up your comebacks, stop and see if there’s something worth listening to in what your mate is saying.  What might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you first admitted your own wrongs? ... Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front.  Are you taking responsibility for this person you chose for yourself as the love of your life? ... Are you taking responsibility for your own faults?"

Also true. However, let's note quickly that admitting your own wrongs doesn't get you off the hook. Admitting you were wrong doesn't make the situation better. It just makes you more bearable to the person you hurt.

29 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 25

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Galatians 5:17

Observations:

This is a very true statement, so much so that it seems obvious, but that, of course, is because I've grown up in Christianity.

One of the key concepts in Christianity is the process of sanctification. When someone becomes a Christian, they are considered "saved". "Saved" however, is a complex concept, describing the rescuing of the individual from sin. The manner by which that is effected, however, is broken into three parts:

• Justification - The immediate removal our bondage to sin and punishment due thereunto
• Sanctification - The progressive work of the Holy Spirit moulding us in Christ's likeness
• Glorification - The final removal of sin in its entirety in eternity

So, if someone were to ask a theologian whether he or she was saved, that person might answer, saying "Yes, partially, and no," and be perfectly correct.

What this passage is talking about is the dichotomy of flesh vs Spirit, or our old, sinful nature vs our new, Christlike nature. It is talking about the process of sanctification in which we wage war against our sinful desires which keep us from drawing closer to God. It is a reminder that the urges of the flesh are opposed to the spirit.

Now, I must make a distinction between fleshly and bodily urges. Bodily urges, such as the need for food and drink, sexual desire, tiredness/sleepiness, the need to use the bathroom, these are all normal, good things. Fleshly desires are those which run contrary to God, such as gluttony, lust, acting on sexual desires outside of marriage, laziness, etc.

So, we must be aware of these fleshly desires if we are to continue growing in Christlikeness, that we can identify and deny them, that they would not stunt our growth and development.

Application:

I need to check my motivations for what I do. Am I going on Facebook to use it to communicate or will I simply be scrolling aimlessly, setting myself up for temptation? What books am I reading? What movies am I watching? Am I doing things that, although they may fall into grey areas, would weaken me to resist temptation? Am I doing things that bypass the grey area and function as a gateway?

I need to act and interact with wisdom and discernment.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 25: Love Forgives

"[F]orgiveness doesn’t absolve anyone of blame.  It doesn’t clear their record with God.  It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them.  When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose.  You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way."

Forgiveness is one thing I have been taught to do from a young age, so it's sometimes something I take for granted. It's a very powerful act, forgiveness, for the above reason. It's basically saying to the person you're forgiving that you're no longer burdening yourself over the hurt they've done to you and have set yourself free to restoration and growth. It's arguably the most hopeful thing that can be given to a repentant offender (I speak as one).

28 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 24

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Corinthians 6:13

Observations:

This passage is in the beginning of a segment in 1 Corinthians in which Paul is making an argument against sexual immorality. Starting in verse 12, we see him addressing common arguments used by the Corinthians to justify their behaviours:

• "All things are lawful for me" - Not all things are helpful and I will not be dominated by anything.
• "Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food" - God will destroy them both in their time

The Corinthians were using arguments common to today, used even by Christians. They were using God's grace and forgiveness (See Romans), political legality, and the apparent, "necessary" nature of sexual desire (described as akin to physical hunger) to justify acting out in sexual sin. Listen to Paul's response, though:

"The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

Paul is pointing the Church back to God here. We are intended to honour and revere God. So, while all things may be lawful or permissible, are we fulfilling our purpose of honouring God? Has God given us a means of gratifying our sexual needs that also honours him? The answer to the second is yes, through marriage. The answer to the first, though, depends on the individual and requires some introspection. For me, my answer would be "No". I could squirrel away details and say that I am doing better about honouring God than I was, but regardless, I'm still not perfect. At the end of the day, in a black-and-white, yes/no scenario, my answer will always be "No".

I am not perfect. God, in his holiness, demands a "Yes" for us to be fit to even enter his presence, but because of my sin, my imperfection, I will always be short of  "Yes". This is where the grace of  God comes in. Because God loves us, God reached out in his mercy to provide a means, through perfect fulfillment of the law he had established, for a "Yes" to be credited to us. That's the beauty of the cross. Jesus Christ, in his perfection, in his manhood, and in his Godhood, voluntarily took the burden of our imperfections and endured the punishment required, that he may stand on our behalf as our advocate and credit us with his "Yes".

This understanding leads Paul to really hammer home his point on sexual immorality later in this passage as he exhorts us to glorify God in our bodies. How, then, can we continue in our sin, in the light of such great mercy?

Application:

To trust in the power of God to overcome my sin and to cease, from my side, engaging in sin. I must be firm and resolute against my sin, but I cannot begin to believe I can do it all on my own. True obedience will only ever come from a genuine desire and love for God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 24: Love vs. Lust

"So we set our eyes and hearts on seeking worldly pleasure.  We try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. ...We try to be discreet but barely turn our eyes away.  And once our eyes are capture by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. ... Our hearts are deceived into saying, 'I could be happy if I only had this.'"

The authors started off acknowledging that God has provided for all of our needs and many of our desires, that we should want for nothing. I like the definition the authors give for lust, that is is setting our hearts and passions on something forbidden, like a coworker, an actress, or even a new sports car. It tempts us to seek the satisfaction we should find in God in these other things. When ever did a new car completely satisfy you? When did an affair ever meet the totality of your needs? They don't. They can't, and yet we buy into the lie that they can like a fish does a lure.

Lust is an ever-growing emptiness, calling for more and greater things to fill its hunger as it draws us further and further from the one thing that can truly satisfy us.

"Are you tired of being lied to by lust?  Are you fed up with believing that forbidden pleasures are able to keep you happy and content?  Then begin setting your eyes on the Word of God.  Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. ... And while you’re at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again."

23 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 23

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Romans 6:12

Observations:

I like this passage; it's really nice and straightforward: "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions."

Don't let sin reign in your body. Don't let sin make you obey its passions. Those are the two statements in this passage. Note, though, how they're intertwined. Sin cannot make you obey its passions unless it is reigning in your body. This is a very important facet of much of the book of Romans, that we are no longer bound to our sin, but to Christ. If Christ reigns in us, then sin does not. If Christ reigns in us, the we are not made to obey it. If Christ reigns in us, we have his power to resist temptation.

Application:

Forsake sin and turn to God. If there's any area in your life which you haven't taken to God, but you've kept to yourself, thinking you can manage it, or because you enjoy the way it makes you feel, that can still remain an area in which sin has rulership and you will sin in it again. Give it all over to God and be free from the obligation to sin.

This is something I'm learning. I was actually praying over this concept yesterday, talking with God and thanking him for the place he has brought me to.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 23: Love Always Protects

"Unfortunately your marriage has enemies out there. They come in different forms and use different strategies, but nonetheless they will conspire to destroy your relationship unless you know how to ward them off.
Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparisons."

Yep. This is what happened to me. The first probably started happening a longer time ago, but the second is what did me in.

Some of the things listed as enemies of marriage are harmful influences (internet, TV, work schedules), unhealthy relationships (bad confidants/advisors, risk with opposite sex friendships), shame (how do you speak re: your spouse in public?), and parasites (addictions, anything consuming your thoughts, time, and money). These are things which should be actively guarded against, like a good shepherd watching over his flock, not sacrificed for our own comfort and entertainment.

"Men ...  You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. ... It requires a heart of courage and a head for preemptive action."

So, that's where I stand. As I mentioned above, I was praying over the idea of not being beholden to sin and, thanks to the work God has done in me, I am more able to put energy into repairing my marriage. This idea of defending it from enemies preemptively is a big factor, I think, that will help on the repair process.

22 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 22

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Romans 8:13

 Observations:

This passage follows a segment in which Paul is talking about living in the flesh versus living in the spirit, ho those living in the flesh are doomed to death and cannot please God, but those living in the spirit find a greater life that comes from God

"For if you live according to the flesh, you will die"

Pretty self-explanatory

"... but if, by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

This is the key to overcoming sin of any kind. There are two key ideas within this verse fragment. 

The first is the phrase "by the Spirit". This tells us that God is both the source of strength for and the mechanism of overcoming our sins, even the deepest, most entrenched ones.

Second is the phrase, "put to death the deeds of the body." This passage isn't talking about retiring our sins, or putting them up in the attic. This passage is talking about drastic action. Putting something to death is severe, terminal. It is unreversable except by God and we know that God does not tolerate sin.

Application:

Firstly, this is a reminder to rely on God, not myself. 

Secondly, this is a reminder to take this journey and struggle seriously. I have the worst habit of starting something in earnest and, by my own sloth, allowing it to become merely this veneer that's added to cover over the flaws. I cannot permit even the most innocent gateway thoughts. My sin needs to not only be managed, but to die and I need to die to myself, to my own desires on a daily basis. That is what is meant by being a living sacrifice.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 22: Love is Faithful

This is an important one. I wish it spoke from the perspective of the one who broke faith and trust instead of the one whose faith and trust was broken, but the core theme is still the same. We need to be seeking after Christ, emulating his love. We need to be giving undeserved love - love despite what a person has said or done to us.

Me? I'm the one who does't deserve the love, so it's hard to see how to apply this in my circumstance. I'm trying to repair and secure my marriage, but faithfulness has a different connotation in my context. My wife needs to know that she is the only one in my eyes and mind. She also needs to know that she is in my heart and that no-one else is there with her.

21 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 21

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• 1 Peter 2:11

Observations:

What stands immediately out to me is how Peter refers to us Christians as "sojourners and exiles". Sojourn means to stay somewhere temporarily.  An exile is someone cast out from his own people. These words, in context with the verses immediately above, that we are a chosen people, a people called by God for his possession. gives me the image that this place, this earth is not our home. We are merely moving through, staying temporarily until we can return to our true home.

What is Peter's point in making this statement, though?

Well, firstly, as we can see in this immediate verse, being strangers in this world, we are encouraged to hold onto the things of our true home, that is, heaven, and to remove ourselves of the things of our temporary dwelling, that is, the world. Think of it as someone going to college in a different city and state. They are not making their home in this new place. They are merely sojourning there, staying there for a time. That's why you don't see many students investing greatly in their college home compared to those who've either grown up there or staked their lives there. No their minds and hearts are on their hometown.

That being said, just as each student represents his or her home town and state, we represent our hometown, Heaven, as is alluded to in verse 12: "Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." 

I had a good friend comment on the difference, though, between the earth and the world. The earth is the physical place we're living in. Earth will be remade. Peter's not saying not to engage in the things of this earth, food, cultural affectations, etc. He's saying not to engage in the things of this world, i.e. sin.

Application:

I need to be engaging with this world and its delights more as someone passing through. Not to be indifferent regarding the affairs of the world and its plights, but to be indifferent to its temptations, keeping myself fixed instead on Christ, remembering Heaven is my home and allegiance. I need to be conscious of Christ in my engagements, taking pains to represent him and to engage in things that bring honour to and are of him.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 21: Love is Satisfied in God

20 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 20

Reading & Memorising Scripture

Scripture:

• Matthew 5:27-30

Observations:

This passage serves to highlight both what sexual infidelity truly is and how severe our response should be.

I like how, in the ESV, verse 28 is translated "... anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent..." (emphasis added). Here, Jesus is looking at the core, heart issue. Previously, the Jews defined adultery simply as physical marital infidelity.  Jesus is identifying adultery as a heart issue in which one desires to sexually possess or have an intimate encounter with an individual not your spouse (or anyone at all if you're not married). This can be physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, or spiritual intimacy. This can encompass intercourse, touch, exchanging of words, lingering glances, etc. Any intimate investiture, usually romantic or pseudo-romantic, in an individual who is not your spouse, in place of your spouse, is adultery. 

So, a man confiding information regarding his personal struggles to a female coworker instead of his wife? That could constitute the beginnings of emotional adultery, especially if the wife is unaware or has not given consent. Similarly, a private prayer meeting between a man and a woman could be cause for scrutiny. These type of cases don't necessarily start of with adultery in mind, but they very often can lead that way.

In verses 29 & 30, we see the severity with which Jesus urges us to take action against adultery, lustful thoughts, glances, and other adulterous interactions. No, do not literally cut out your eye or cut off your hand. If we did that, every man above the age of 12 would be a blind double-amputee, as would many women, if not all, by a certain point in life. 

However, we should see the necessity here. We need to cut out everything that enables us to sin. What actions do we take or thoughts do we have that lead us into sin? How can we mount an offense against them? How can we control our thoughts, our eyes, our actions? That's what this whole "Struggling with Sin" series has been about. Yes, it's my personal struggle, but the base concepts are the same. We need to:

1. Confess our sins
2. Cease conforming to the world
3. Seek intimacy with Christ
4. Sacrifice ourselves to God
5. Worship God
6. Thank and praise God
7. Ask God for his strength to overcome

Dealing with sin is a long, hard road. It's not a straight line of smooth sailing. Some days I'm climbing up. Others, I'm taking a couple steps back. Some days, I look at what I've been through and rejoice, praising God. Others, I look at the mountain ahead of me and despair. The biggest thing to remember, though, is to keep our eyes on Christ and to constantly be moving towards him. Only then can we be certain of recovery and overcoming sin.

Application:

I need to re-check my plans and strategies. I need to evaluate where I've become lax and tighten back up. I also need to examine the areas in which I've told God, "Thanks for the help. I've got it from here." Lastly, I need to dig deeper in understanding and undermining the root issues underlying my sin

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ

I love it! today's passage talks about committing to Christ, accepting Jesus' salvation as the salve for our brokenness and relying on him to provide the ability to give the love we cannot of ourselves show.