2 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 4

Prayer

     2. Renouncing Conformity

Scriptures:

• Romans 6:13-14

Observations:

So, this is in the context of the passage talking about our past slavery to sin and our new life in Christ.

Specifically, here's the breakdown I see:

• Do not present yourself or parts of yourself as instruments for sin
• Present yourself and parts of yourself to God as instruments for righteousness
• Why? Because sin has no more dominion over us
• Why? We have been brought from death to life
• Why? Because we are no longer under the law, but under God's grace

Really, what Paul is saying here, if I may take the liberty of paraphrasing, is, "Guys, because of God's grace, you no longer need to focus on not sinning. God's grace given to you is sufficient to keep you from sin and render you effectively righteous through Christ. So, focus on God and stop giving yourself up to sin!"

I kinda imagine Paul's tone here to be that of the loving, but exasperated (and slightly snarky), fatherly uncle figure.

The shift in focus from not sinning to God is crucial. As long as we continue to focus on not sinning, we continue to focus on our sin, while relying on ourselves. In focusing on God, we focus on God, rely on God, and we find ourselves obeying God, which means we wind up sinning less, ultimately becoming free from sin. And that, in part, is what I think Paul was meaning in yesterday's passage on being transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Application:

I really need to take in today's and yesterday's passages. I find myself often focusing on my sin. I'm not trying to present myself as instruments for sin, but I find myself trying to pretty myself up so that I can present myself to God. Where, since the coming of Christ, did God ever say we had to be perfect before we could come to him? God came to us in our imperfection to redeem us and impute Christ's righteousness upon us. God did all the work so that we can come to him. That was the significance of the tearing of the curtain in the temple, as described in Matthew 27. Christ, God himself, is our mediator. We no longer need the proxy of a high priest.

This is something that I really needed to understand. I pulled out from different ministries I was involved in because of my sin, feeling that I could not contribute as I am. 

Where I say, "I'm not good enough." God says, "My grace is sufficient."

Does this mean I'm ready to jump back into ministry, not necessarily, but it does show me that I really need to be clinging to Christ above all else. I need to submit myself to Christ and let him remake me instead of trying to remake myself as I see God.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

"If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship."

Following this statement, there is an excerpt talking about how men are much more prone to this than women, being able to hyper-focus on one specific thing to the exclusion of all else, while women are more able to multitask different activities and thoughts and tend to have a more relational mindset than men do.

I can attest to both of these statements. The number of times I've heard my wife ask something to the degree of how I could be so dense/clueless/thoughtless is a little too high to be proud of.

Prayer:

(In private)

1 December 2015 + Love Dare Day 3

Prayer

         2. Renouncing Conformity

Scriptures:

• Romans 12:2

Observations:

Okay, so passage breakdown:

• Do not conform to the world
• Be transformed
• How, by the renewing of your mind
• Why, that you may discern God's will by testing
• That is, what is good, acceptable, and perfect

Do not conform to the world. Sounds pretty straightforward. Any time in which my interactions lead me to an intersection of the world's way and God's way, I should not choose the world's way.

How can I do that? By choosing the other way, which is partly choosing God's way and partly allowing myself to be changed by God, having my mind reset, so to speak, according to God's will, because, it is only through God working in us that we could or would even have the thought to follow God, let alone be able to choose that.

Why do I say that?

Well, earlier in Romans, Paul specifically states that we are no longer slaves to sin. We are no longer obligated to give in to sin, but are now empowered both to see what is right and to do what is right.

Incidentally, Paul calls us, in that same passage, slaves to righteousness. In entertaining sin, we entertain treason. In committing sin, we deal treacherously with our master. Sin does not come from allegiance with God. As Paul writes in Galatians, we should be seeing the fruit of the spirit, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control, coming from those who claim allegiance with God. We should, as James writes, be displaying our faith by our works, because a faith that does not produce outward manifestation is dead.

So, then, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That's all well and good, but why?

So that we may discern God's will, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.

By tuning our minds to God, we are able to test the different thoughts and ideas that come to and from us. We can check and see if they are of God and, for those who are new and may be a little iffy on what something that is of God looks like, it is good, that is, it works for the betterment of others and for the self; it is acceptable, that is, it is morally and sometimes socially permissible (Not everything socially permissible is acceptable by God's standard); and it is perfect, that is, it has nothing of sin or wrongdoing in it.

So, to make an example, which happens to hit fairly close to home, let's use looking at a woman lustfully - and I'm not even talking imagining her naked, we'll keep it to simply "appreciating" what she looks like.

• Is it good? No
• It contributes to the devaluing and objectifying (i.e. dehumanising) of women.
• It instills a false sense of permission, control, and entitlement in the mindset of the man in question, while also encouraging him to seek his pleasure from external engagements and shallow sources instead of internally, within himself, between himself and God, and between himself and his spouse.
• Is it acceptable? No
• The only ones who would even hesitate to say no, or would say so whingingly are the ones who have grown a sense of entitlement to do so, finding ways to justify it and keep it apparently acceptable.
• Is it perfect? No
• Aside from the face that it debases women, Jesus describes it as a form of adultery.
• Additionally, it strays from the intention of intimacy and sexuality established by God and, if we hold the posit that God is by nature perfect, then anything that strays from the way given by God must be imperfect.

How do we break this mindset? Well, first, as we've seen previously, we must be aware of it and bring it to confession. Secondly, as we're seeing today, we must renounce the world's standards and allow God to reconfigure our hearts and minds according to his way, that we might be able to discern his direction and follow it.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 3: Love is not selfish

Oy vey, do I have a problem with selfishness. I do what I want, when I want. I do what others want when it's convenient for me. Even doing good things to get a favourable result counts as selfish. Dang! I know I'm guilty of trying to manipulate people and gain leverage to get what I want and have had minor sulk sessions when I don't get my way.

"Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others... Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say 'no' to what you want so you can say 'yes' to what they need."

My first resistance is to ask, "But what about what I want?" That's a pretty selfish question. This excerpt isn't saying I can't experience happiness, but that I should put my wife's happiness and well-being above my own.

"The truth is, when you relinquish your right for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage."

This is one of those things where my head sees the sense and logic, of giving myself over to something greater than myself, but my selfish heart, the very same one that got me into this huge sin mess, is screaming, "No! I want what I want and I'm gonna get it!"

Yeah, that's definitely something to take to God in prayer.

30 November 2015 + Love Dare Day 2

Prayer

1. Confession

Scriptures:

• 1 John 1:7-10

Observations:

If we follow Christ an walk in his way, we have fellowship with him and other believers

If we say we have no sin, we delude ourselves and we do not have the truth

If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us

If we say we have never sinned we make God out to be a liar and his word is not in us

That's my paraphrase.

What is part of confession, then, is admitting, first, that we do sin. If I deny my sin, or delude myself in order to not see my sin, then I am not in God. After all, if I were dwelling in God and God in me, then I would not be able to stand my sin. 

I can attest to this in this current struggle in my life. Increasingly, I am seeing my sin and now numb I had become to my sin. It's disturbing to see how easily and prevalently I sin, especially now that I am trying to change and keep from sinning. In some ways, it seems like the temptation to sin has increased because of my determination to not sin, which I can believe.

Another aspect of confession, is that confession brings us closer into fellowship and rightness with God.

I can attest to this as well. Sin isolates. I have never felt so alone as when I was neck-deep in sin. Even when I have sinned in smaller ways with greater impact, I find myself trying to isolate myself as punishment, yet yearning for fellowship despite it.

The last aspect of confession that I see here is forgiveness and cleansing.

This, also, I can attest to. I find myself most afraid and terrified before I come to confess, either to God or the aggrieved party. That fear is not of God, though, as John writes later in this letter that there is no fear in love, but that perfect love drives out fear. Fear keeps me from confessing and keeps me separated from the body of Christ. Confession brings forgiveness and, sometimes immediately, sometimes over a long period of struggle, cleansing from sin.

Application:

Well, it's pretty straightforward, I think: take the time and confess my sins. Even though it may be fearful, difficult, or even hurtful to another, it is best that I confess my sins instead of letting them fester, laying them out on the table, in full view, that they can be worked upon.

~ ~ ~

The Love Dare

Day 2: "Love is Kind"

A couple things that stand out:

• Kindness maximises a positive circumstance
• Kindness creates a blessing
• Kindness is reactive

I totally get the patience side of things, which is damage control, avoidance of a problem, and reactive. Kindness, being proactive, does not come naturally to me.

Let's look at the breakdown given of kindness:

• Gentleness - I kinda get it. It comes out more at timidity, though
• Helpfulness - Maybe a bit too much
• Willingness - Yeah, I fit this bill to a degree. I tend to make a lot of excuses when I'm busy doing something more enjoyable, though
• Initiative - Yeah, no. This one is largely what's lacking in me

Dare: Do one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness

Seeing as I won't see much of my wife today, this may be a bit difficult, but I think I can manage

Prayer:

In private today

28 November 2015 + Love Dare Day 1

Prayer

1. Confession

Scripture:

• Mark 7:20-23

Observations:

The passage here is talking about defilement in the greater context - can what a person takes in defile them? Jesus is directing his point to the Pharisees who had become obsesses with the minutiae of the laws, performing all the outward works necessary in order to become "clean" by their reckoning.

What Jesus is saying is that defilement comes from within. It's not something that we put on and neither is it removed by outward things we do. Therefore it is only something that can be changed by treating the heart, by asking God to renew our hearts.

Application:

When asking for God's forgiveness and seeking repentance, if we want any kind of true change, we need to address the heart. Any other change is like whitewashing over cracks - the foundation damage is still present and the cracks will continue to get worse. Only by rebuilding the foundation on what is true and right will repair the cracks.

Prayer:

Lord, I see a number of heart issues that need working on in myself: hedonism, self-obsession, turning my heart away from my wife, seeking emotional connection in everyone/-thing around me, not investing myself in my wife and how to love her.

Talking with her, it seems she needs a more outward display of the change you're working in me, Lord. I just don't know how to show it. Help me to meet her where she is and encourage her to hold on to you as you'e working in me.

~   ~   ~

The Love Dare

Day 1: Patience

This is one in which I find myself slowly lacking. I consider myself a patient person, but in recent weeks, I've found my patience wearing thinner and thinner towards my wife.

Prayer:

Lord, help me to increase in patience towards my wife. Help her to see that I love her and am taking steps to love her better. Through patience today, help me to break down some walls that have been built up during this last week. Help me to understand her and to meet her where she is.

27 November 2015

For the next while, I'll be posting through a series of passages given to me, which I'm calling "Struggling with Sin."

Prayer

1. Confession

Scripture:

• Psalm 51

Observations:

In this passage. we see David coming forward to God after the Bathsheba incident. His first response is to plead with God for mercy, acknowledging his sin. In verse 3, he writes " For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me," a verse and sentiment I can definitely understand, especially when I first read it on Tuesday.

After acknowledging his sin, he also acknowledges that God delights in a pure heart and right spirit and asks to be cleansed, that he may once again be in a right standing with God.

If I could sum up the key elements of this passage, they would be:

1. God, I recognise that I have sinned
2. I recognise that you delight in perfection
3. Cleanse me and remove my sin
4. Turn your face towards me once again
5. Allow me to praise you before others for what you have done

Application:

The elements given here are definitely different from what I've been doing. I've strayed so far from my confession of sin. In recent years, my confession has sounded something like this:

"Okay God, I screwed up again. Give me the strength so I can stop screwing up.

And in recent months/weeks, something more like this:

"Not again, God. Please give me your strength to push through. (not that it'll do anything.)"

Absolutely gone is any sign of contrition or brokenness. My challenge to myself is to incorporate the elements above into my process of registering my sin. Recognising my sin, recognising God's standard, asking for restoration, asking for communion with God again, and praising him in thanks.

Prayer:

Lord, you know my struggles. My past history with pornography and lust, my ways of ogling women and trying to get glances of things I shouldn't. You know my habitual "boob check", built up over 11 years. These are things which need to be gone from my life. I recognise that these things are all not of you. What you gave is intimacy with my wife and I haven't taken the time to really build that, instead turning my attentions to everything around me, leaving her abandoned an alone. I have clung to the lie I've believed since I was 13 instead of clinging to the blessing you have given me. 

Remove my sin from me, Lord, that I can pour into my wife, building her up. Help me to be completely satisfied in her, breaking my need for external validation and appreciation, finding it instead in you and in her. Cleanse my mind from the ghosts of pornography which haunt me. Break my habits of ogling women and remove from me the desire to do so. Build my foundation on you, clinging to you. Don't allow me to substitute my wife for all of these addictions and issues, because that will not solve anything, but help me to replace them with you, growing in you and being filled with your presence, that I would be able to love her genuinely, with your love.

I want to feel your presence again in my life. Break the callouses around my heart that I've built up for various reasons, keeping me from genuinely feeling, prompting me to chase after fleeting, shallow thrills instead of going deep.

I thank you for the restoration you give and for the faith you've built in me. Thank you for a wife who's committed to you and is seeking your glory over her own sense of justice. Thank you for pastors who are pointing me in directions that will hopefully help me to recover, and thank you for preparing my heart to receive your word, allowing me to face my sins and work to overcome them. I ask that you would pull me through and that my life would be a testament to others going through similar struggles.

Help me, Lord, because I need you.

Amen

23 November 2015

Scriptures:

• John 15:1-17
• Isaiah 13-14
• 2 Kings 22
• Psalm 114

Observations:

So, in the John passage, we have a few connected ideas. First, we have the idea that Christ is like a vine and we, the believers, are like branches, which God, as the gardener, trims, pruning the branches bearing fruit and removing those branches failing to do so, the fruit coming necessarily from that connection with Christ, abiding in his love, as is alluded to further on in the passage, keeping the commandments given to us by Christ to love one another as Christ loved us, going so far, as Christ did, to lay down our lives for our brothers, that our joy may be full, for we were chosen by Christ to bear fruit and, in so doing, give glory to God. Second, we have the assurance that we are indeed in the vine, found in verse 3, meaning that we need only to seek after God and follow Christ in his path and instruction to the best of our ability, relying on Christ to carry us beyond where we can in ourselves go.

In Isaiah, we see a very long prophecy against Babylon. In essence, Babylon will not only be destroyed, but laid bare, fallen in disgrace. Whether this is an already-fulfilled prophecy (Which I think is so, because of reference to the Medes) or a prophecy about end times events, I cannot say for certainty. Additionally, We see a small prophecy against the Philistines.

In 2 Kings, we see Josiah commanding repairs of the temple and, in the process, one of his secretaries comes across the book of the law and brings it to Josiah, who, in grief at the sin of Jerusalem and Judah tears his clothes in grief and seeks the Lord in regards to his wrath, the answer from the prophetess being that Judah would indeed face God's wrath, but because of Josiah's contrition, it would not be during his lifetime.

The psalm is praising God for his greatness such that, when Israel was emerging from Egypt into the promised land, the mountains and hills fled in the face of the Lord.

Application:

The John passage is very encouraging to me in this current phase, because, as I first read verse 2, I lump myself in the former category, but in verses 3 and 4, I see that I, as a follower of Christ, am counted in the latter category and am encouraged, instead to abide in Christ, being reminded that this is nothing that I can do of my own power, but, in reliance upon Christ, I am made able to bear fruit.

Today is a good bit of encouragement to continue waging war on my sin, to overcome and work towards reconciliation, honouring both God and my wife.

22 November 2015

Scriptures:

• John 14
• Isaiah 11-12
• 2 Kings 21
• Psalm 113

Observations:

In the John passage, Jesus is talking with his disciples after washing their feet about the Kingdom of God and how he will be going ahead to prepare a place for them. He also expounds upon how we can know God, the Father, by knowing God, the Son, and showing the disciples that anyone who claims to love him will follow in obedience. He also promises a helper to come to them after he leaves.

Application:

Firstly, we can see that to love God is to obey. We know that Jesus is the only way to heaven, that he is preparing a place for us and has given us the Holy Spirit as a counselor and empowerment, but the idea that any who love him will act in obedience to him is important.